Strengthening Families & Marriages

It seems nearly every day there is something else astonishing in the news--most of it bad or repugnant. Short of hiding our heads in the sand or hibernating in a cave until the Second Coming, we will be faced with crass or even overtly sick material in the media from time to time. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our children for that which they will most likely see, if not already seen?

News articles in the last month have talked about teen girls texting nude photos of themselves to unsuspecting guys in their high school or middle school classes--all in the hopes the boy will want to ask them out on a date. What is a parent to do? How do we prepare our sons for these kinds of matters?

Other researchers have now said that nearly half of high school students know fellow students with porn on their cell phones. What is a parent to do? How can we help prepare our children for the onslaught of evil that now is engulfing this planet?

Talk to any social psychologist who has studied longitudinally the effects of pornography. They will speak to the chemical changes it induces in the brain. They will speak to the numbing effect it has on "right and wrong." Pornography is not harmless "entertainment," much as the purveyors of this "entertainment" will put forth (remember, they profit from those addicted to the stuff).

Again, what is a parent to do for their children, especially those who are young and not aware of what lurks out there in the world? I think Brigham Young's counsel is pertinent for our children today (Brigham Young was one of the early presidents for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the official title for the Mormon church). He said:

"Learn...and be prepared for the most refined society upon the face of the earth, then improve upon this until we are prepared and permitted to enter the society of the blessed--the holy angels that dwell in the presence of God" (Journal of Discourses 16:77).

It's a funny thing about magnetic attraction. Heard the saying, "Like attracts like"? Building a refined family will help shape refined children. Refined children will be more likely to be drawn toward refined literature, activities, and endeavors. They will be more likely to shun that which is crass, vulgar, or rude.

How do we build refinement in our children? Again, Brigham Young gave this counsel:

"Our education should be such as to improve our minds and fit us for increased usefulness; to make us of greater service to the human family, to enable us to stop our rude methods of living, speaking, and thinking" (The Prophets Have Spoken, Vol 1, p 626).

Brigham Young wasn't just speaking about grade school and high school years when he spoke of education; he was speaking of our lifelong journey on this earth.

As parents we can set the example of refined living and education (that which we learn from) by what we choose to watch, what we choose to wear, what we choose to read, and so on. The more refined we are, the more likely our children will follow suit. And the better equipped they will be to handle the vulgarities of the world!

My daughter asked me yesterday, with great concern in her young voice, why bad things had to happen to good people. She was thinking of the people in Burma (Myanmar) and in China with the recent, horrific events they're experiencing.

I thought of what a deep question this was and indeed, a question that has been asked by people and individuals off and on throughout the history of the world.

I am not a philosopher by trade. In fact, the first two times I attempted to take a required Philosophy class in college, I dropped the class both times; the thinkings were deep and difficult to follow. But because I couldn't graduate without the class, I finally tried a third time. This time, the newest professor actually made sense and his overall enthusiasm soon moved me to a spot where Philosophy became my favorite subject.

But this still doesn't mean I can answer deep philosophical questions the same way a true professional "Philosopher" would. In fact, at dictionary.com the definitions of the term "philosophy" are multiple (how ironic this is -- even within the definition there are different approaches and answers about this one word!).

One definition is: "the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct." Another definition is "the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, esp. with a view to improving or reconstituting them: the philosophy of science."

But one of the final definitions mentioned really struck me: "a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs." And it is from this perspective that I want to write today.

As rhetorical as some people could get about "why bad things happen to good people", all of that rhetoric doesn't help soothe the anguish of the moment experienced by individuals suffering through severe times, such as those people in Burma or in China with the cyclone or earthquake (respectively).

But Jesus Christ does speak to this suffering. First of all, He knows of what He speaks. He, who bled from every pore in the Garden of Gethsemane, knows of suffering. He knows of anguish. For He carried it all so that He might know how to succor God's children. And here is what He said,

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" (Matthew 11:28-29).

I may not have all the philosophical answers to the difficult questions of the world, but I know Someone who does. I testify that He does lift burdens and answer unanswerable questions. All we need do is turn to Him.

Here is more information about Jesus Christ and some of the answers He provides to some of the more unanswerable questions of this life.

I've been studying recently in an instructional booklet put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon church because of our belief and use of The Book of Mormon). The instructional booklet is called Improving Gospel Teaching. It is a guide to improve gospel teaching moments, usually in the classroom but also in all other locations.

Perhaps it should not be surprising to find so much information within the booklet about and for parents, when overall the text is essentially geared for teachers within the Church. Because after all, parents are the teachers with greatest impact upon the main body of the Church.

Here is a paragraph from the chapter "Gospel Teaching in the Church":

"God has given His children their agency. Agency is the power to choose good or evil -- to either partake of the plan of redemption or reject it.

"To be able to choose good and partake of the plan of redemption, we must learn of the Savior and the doctrines of His gospel. He has commanded, 'Learn of me, and listen to my words' (D&C 19:23). In response to this commandment, individual members of the Church should study the scriptures and the teachings of latter-day prophets, ponder and pray about them, and apply them in their lives" ("Gospel Teaching in the Church," Improving Gospel Teaching, p. 1).

What a simple path this lays out for us as parents -- to teach our children to:

• Study the scriptures,
• Study the teachings of the latter-day prophets,
• Ponder and pray about them,
• and Apply them in our lives.

Yet these things are not likely to happen consistently for our families if we as parents do not lay out a plan to achieve them. That's when I began thinking about my family's daily activities. First, am I carving out time each day for family scripture study? It need not be hard, scripture study need not be lengthy, it need not be complicated. It simply needs to happen. The word of God can be read for free online or can be inexpensively purchased. How we obtain our books of scripture does not matter as much as making sure we do and then read daily from them.

Second, what about studying the word of God through His living prophets? This could be a great Sunday afternoon activity as a family to visit this link to hear the modern prophets speak -- even if it were only one discourse a week!

Third, have I carved a simple time out of my day to ponder and pray on these things I've read? Have I done the same for my family? A family that prays together stays together, or so the saying goes. Why not start each day with family prayer, everyone kneeling and one person offering their thanks, praises and requests of God? And then end the day each evening the same way. There is a sweet spirit that enters family life for each family who pursues this activity. The Lord waits to bless us and quickly responds to requests for His aid.

Following through with these first three steps mentioned above ensures that we are in the process of applying God's words in our lives. And what transformations begin to happen! I've seen it in the lives of others; I've felt it in my own family's life. As Elder Bruce R. McConkie, a previous apostle for the Mormon church, said:

"Each person must learn the doctrines of the gospel for himself. No one else can do it for him. Each person stands alone where gospel scholarship is concerned; each has access to the same scriptures and is entitled to the guidance of the same Holy Ghost; each must pay the price set by a divine Providence if he is to gain the pearl of great price" (Doctrines of the Restoration: Sermons and Writings of Bruce R. McConkie, ed. Mark L. McConkie [1989], 234).

Truly each one has the responsibility to learn of God and of His manifest goodness. And what a joy it is as a parent to be the guide for our children in that process! Here is a quick and easy link to free online scriptures. Enjoy reading them with your family and enjoying the pearl of great price the Lord has given us to sustain us through our days on earth!

This title, "Home - The Central Place," caught my eye. I was reading in an instructional booklet put out by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (casually called the Mormons). The booklet was called "Improving Gospel Teaching: A Leader's Guide." Published in 1998, it contains much information under these various headings:

• Gospel Teaching in the Church,
• Leader Support of Teachers,
• Teacher Improvement Meetings,
• and the "Teaching the Gospel" Course.

But it was while I was reading in this booklet that I saw the sub-title, "Home: The Central Place." Actually, the full title was/is "Home: The Central Place for Learning and Teaching the Gospel." The entire title caught my attention, because I realized with great strength how true that saying is.

Imagine a child that goes to church and hears that Jesus taught we should love one another, yet the child returns home and is hit by his parents. Imagine a child that goes to church and hears that we should be honest, yet goes home and sees his parent keeping too much change the store clerk unknowingly gave. Imagine that same child hearing God's truth that the Sabbath day is holy, yet sees his parents hosting a raucous party on Sunday for the Super Bowl.

Yet on the reverse, imagine that same child (instead) hearing during Sunday services about loving one another and returning home to hear his mother say, "Son, you matter to me," accompanied by a big hug. Picture that child hearing in Sunday services the value of honesty and the next day, he sees his father returning the overage in change a store clerk unknowingly gave. And just imagine a child returning home after a Sunday School lesson on the 10 Commandments with the importance of Sabbath day observance, and his parents actually spend time with the family that evening studying the word of God.

In reviewing these scenarios, I realized yet again just how important a statement the title was: "Home - The Central Place for Learning and Teaching the Gospel." In fact, here is a quote from that very section:

The family is ordained of God. It is central to His plan. He has established families to bring happiness to His children, to help them learn the gospel in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare them for eternal life. The home is the most important place to teach, learn, and apply gospel principles (see Mosiah 4:14-15; D&C 68:25-28).

Parents should thoughtfully plan and hold family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and other family activities. They should do all they can to make good use of these teaching opportunities ("Gospel Teaching in the Church," Improving Gospel Teaching, p 1).

While reading this quote, I of course had to face my own parenting skills, approaches, and moments. It is imperative that I make sure I provide the proper atmosphere and environment for my children in their gospel understanding and growth.

As President Spencer W. Kimball said, "Home is where we become experts and scholars in gospel righteousness" (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 129). May we seek these kinds of things for our own families!

For more information on building the family and finding joy therein, feel free to visit the Church's Provident Living website where you will find help to strengthen your marriage, to strengthen your family, and even information of support groups for those seeking to overcome addictions.

I love the scriptures. Some days they are the only things that brings me peace. I particularly enjoy the Old Testament, as odd as that sounds. Even though it is a loooong book of scripture, the stories within it are rich and instructive.

Generally speaking, the first five books of the Old Testament are sometimes known as "the law" or the books of Moses. These books are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. They address the Creation of the world all the way through Moses' instruction to the Israelites after they fled Pharaoh in Egypt.

The next section of the Old Testament is often known as "the history" portion of the Old Testament. These books are Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, 1 & 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther. In fact, if you want to read the Old Testament quickly, simply read 1 & 2 Chronicles. This is a concise summary of the history of the ancient Israelites boiled down into two summary books called 1 and 2 Chronicles.

The next section has been sometimes called "the wisdom literature" of the Old Testament. These are the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. The rest of the Old Testament (other than Song of Solomon) are records of specific prophets that are not in any chronological order, but are from different historical parts of ancient Israelites' experiences: Isaiah, Jeremiah (and his book of Lamentations), Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi.

All of this creates a pathway or a map for us to follow. And it is an important map for our children to be familiar with, for what befell the Israelites befalls all people who forget their God and leave His protecting care and insist on living dangerous lifestyles (did you know that the ancient Israelites turned to killing their infants during pagan ceremonies? No wonder the Lord decreed certain consequences for their behavior!).

Today I was reading in Obadiah. The Lord gave him a vision and a direct message for the ancient Israelites who insisted on going after false gods and false practices. Here are the Lord's words given through His prophet Obadiah to the Israelites:

"The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou...whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground? (Obadiah 1:3)." The Lord soon enough did bring them down to the ground, for their sakes, to attempt to keep them from self-destructing.

So often as I see other peoples' choices in today's world, rather than judge them, I sorrow and I wonder about myself. Are there any dangerous pieces of pride within me leading me on, as Obadiah mentions? For truly we learn from his clear "map" that pride leads us into paths where we can be deceived and wherein we deceive ourselves.

Obadiah also mentions many other mistakes on the part of these ancient Israelites; for example, they cold-heartedly looked on--without helping other Israelites--during the demise of those in Jerusalem. The Lord noted their many grievous choices and simply said, "...As thou hast done, it shall be done unto thee" (Obadiah 1:15).

Indeed, there are many rich stories amongst the Old Testament that create a sure and steady map or pathway for me to help teach my own children the way to peace and the way to God Himself. If you would like to explore the Old Testament yourself, feel free to explore these free online scriptures!

In this world that is drenched with sexual images and commodities, what is a parent to do to strengthen their child (and even themselves) against this onslaught? It is a rampant problem, one that appears to be worsening.

My husband a few years back attended a conference for mental health counselors and psychologists. The focus of the conference was helping clients overcome pornography addiction. During the lectures and workshops of the conference, my husband learned many important things to help those he counsels with sexual addiction issues. But one of the most startling facts shared at the conference was the new target market for porn companies are the 7- to 12- year-olds! Nothing beautiful, "artistic," nor entertaining about that!

This fact was shocking to me. It is more than appalling. I don't know how those who work for that industry face themselves in the mirror each morning. Most historians will tell you that a country that immerses itself in sexual promiscuity eventually self-destructs, whether internally or through external stronger forces.

My husband also shared with me that an additional report stated that the original funding for picture-capable cell phones came from pornography companies. And it makes sense (at least to them); pornography can be so addicting that if you bring porn to the young, they become the porn companies' customers for a lifetime.

So in the midst of all of this, what is a parent to do? Here are three suggestions:

1. Understand What Pornography Is.

Here is a simple definition of "pornography":

"Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings."

Regardless if some people call it art or entertainment, this definition of pornography could not be clearer!

2. Understand the Lord's Perspective On Pornography.

The Lord speaks to us through his servants and prophets (see Amos 3:7). Elder Richard G. Scott clearly states:

"Whether it be through the printed page, movies, television, obscene lyrics, the telephone, or on a flickering personal computer screen, pornography is overpoweringly addictive and severely damaging" ("The Sanctity of Womanhood," Ensign, May 2000, 36-38).

Our most recent prophet President Gordon B. Hinckley, prior to his death, said:

"Stay away from pornography as you would a serious disease. It is as destructive" ("Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry," Ensign, May 1998, 49-51).

Links are also listed below for these two powerful discourses from God's servants. They provide a start to help understand the Lord's perspective and rationale on the dangers of pornography.

3. Make Use of Fasting, Scriptures Study, Prayer and Service.

As we work with our children, it is essential we arm them with the very real and effective tools of Fasting, Scripture Study, Prayer, and Service. We can help them find their power to overcome anything when they (and we) make use of these aids given us from God.

4. Get Help When Stuck.

A friend once told me that only the strong seek help. His comment stuck in my mind and has continued to register through the years. Truly, those who care will seek aid when they are struggling with anything, for they recognize the possibility of a brighter day. Church leaders are there to help anyone who struggles. The church has set up its own gentle 12-step program to help those who find themselves in the clutches of sexual addictions. The world is so much brighter when we are free of the chains Satan would bind us with.

It is urgent, given the conditions in the world today, to help our children understand the importance of getting help with struggling with anything, even (and especially) pornography. Because at times, experiences will broadside us when we least expect it. My husband, through counseling many clients, now has the perspective that most people on this earth will at some time or another be faced with a pornographic image. That's when we immediately turn off the computer, walk away, and immerse ourselves in the things of the Spirit to renew our souls.

We can help our children find joy in this world as we follow the Lord's plan and keep ourselves free from the entanglements that some would like to ensnare us with!

Additional Resources:

"You Can't Pet a Rattlesnake," David E. Sorenson, Ensign, May 2001, 41.

"Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry," Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, May 1998, 49.

"Breaking the Chains of Pornography," Ensign, Feb 2001, 55.

"Strengthening Marriage: A Resource Guide for Couples," www.providentliving.org.

Addiction Recovery Support Groups, www.providentliving.org

Not everyone is born into a "happy family." Although, some are and it is a joyous thing. Those families not only seem to function well, they actually do function well. When I asked my seminary students this week about joyous families, they described them in these terms: They're happy. They're righteous.

When I asked them to define a "righteous" family, they then started becoming more precise. "A righteous family is one who starts the day praying together ... every day." Another student mentioned, "They consistently have Family Home Evening - every week." Another student said, "They read scriptures together every day, and pray together before they go to bed."

This reminded me of what Elder Jeffrey Holland recently stated in a worldwide broadcast for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The theme for the meeting was Building Up a Righteous Posterity. Elder Holland spoke in a discourse entitled, "Ongoing Emphasis on the Family." He gave an excellent analogy about the patterns within families, especially as pertaining to righteousness.

He spoke of his service-minded mother. Elder Holland's family could not afford store-bought clothing. His mother would attempt to replicate the shirts in the stores. She did her best, but trying to invent a shirt without a true pattern made the final outcome quite unpredictable, let alone the additional shirts she made copying her first try. Here is Elder Holland's additional comments as he paid tribute to his mother's sincere efforts and what he learned:

I think you can see my point and hers. We are bound to be in trouble if a shirt is made from a shirt that was made from a shirt. A mistake or two in the first product—inevitable without a pattern—gets repeated and exaggerated, intensified, more awkward, the more repetitions we make, until finally this thing I’m to wear to school just doesn’t fit. One sleeve’s too long. The other’s too short. One shoulder seam runs down my chest. The other runs down my back. And the front collar button fastens behind my neck. I can tell you right now that such a look is not going to go over well in the seventh grade (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Ongoing Emphasis on the Family," World Wide Leadership Meeting).

Elder Holland went on to compare his experience with these homemade shirts from his youth to attempting to build a successful family without God's laws. We might get a "shirt" from the experience, but life continues to feel further and further from where we'd like it. Yet when we base our families off the teachings of Jesus Christ, we are using a "true pattern" to create the end desire - a family that is happy. Some of those seams within the true pattern or gospel of Jesus Christ are:

Morning prayer as a family - every morning
Daily scripture study as a family - every day
Evening prayer as a family - every evening
Weekly Family Home Evening - consistently every Monday night
Church attendance - every Sunday

This simple practices over time will help break cycles of abuse. I've seen it happen. These simple practices, when consistently built into a family's life will help bring family members to happier and happier paths. I've seen it happen and know it is true. To read more about Elder Holland's talk, click on Ongoing Emphasis on the Family. To learn more about Jesus Christ, visit the new site focused on the Savior.

I felt disheartened today when I read a news report from USAToday.com. Although I must say that I was not very surprised by the article.

The article reported that religion is in flux and, in some sense, in decline. Again, not that this should be surprising. Read any of the Biblical prophecies of what life will be like during the last days; the time described is one of flux.

In fact, we read in the scriptures, whether in the Old Testament, New Testament, the Book of Mormon, or the Doctrine & Covenants, that men's hearts will fail them in the last days. (Although it is important to remember, the evils and horrors of the day are not here presently because God has placed them here. They exist because the hearts of men are waxing cold due to sinful deeds. And the more an individual sins, the more the heart turns cold towards others.)

As we sin, our hearts harden. It has always been this way. Sin for some is nothing more than theory. "There is no evil." Yet read any of the scriptures and the Lord's prophets teach otherwise. Sin harms the individual and so often it harms others.

Go to the dictionary. The word "sin" essentially is defined as reprehensible actions. Not only are certain actions reprehensible in the eyes of God, but they are reprehensible in the eyes of most others. Take stealing, for example. For the person who steals, in their mind stealing gives them something they've not had to work toward. He or she feels smug, like they've somehow bettered their life.

But in God's eyes, how does sin in this instance harm them? If we take a longer view, we can better see why stealing is sinful - or in other words, a harmful activity and one that removes us from the spirit of God. A person who steals may have quick access to money, jewels, TVs, etc. that they've not paid for. But what about the growth they've lost by taking a short cut?

There are growth patterns within a human's heart and personality that can come by no other means than consistent effort. When a person works towards a goal (such as increasing his financial net worth rather than stealing quick cash), he is so much better off ten years down the road. He has learned habits that will add to the quality of life in many ways, not just in financial matters.

But the world seems focused so often on the quick path. Lie a little, cheat a little. It's all good. But that's the problem. It's not all good. That pathway, although initially easy, leads to weakness. Weakness makes reprehensible activities that much easier to engage in. And the entire process takes us farther and farther from whom we have the potential to become. And by taking the easy way out, who then is going to sit in church listening to higher, better ways?

So today when I heard of how the state of religion is in flux in the world, it did not surprise me. But it did sadden me. We as God's children are capable of so much more. And we need "religion" or God's truth to remind us of better, more glorious choices than so many seem willing to make. The Lord calls prophets to teach us the truth. Hopefully more and more will listen to that truth, but if not, at least you can and know the peace that living honest and well brings.

To learn more, simply visit Mormon.org.

Adversity.

Yuck. What a difficult word. Right? Who wants adversity. I know that life would feel so much easier without adversity.

Just imagine. Life always up. Flowers always blooming. Family always healthy. Job security always there. Friends always loyal. Christmas always here.

Just kidding. I had to add the last one, "Christmas always here," for the sake of the children. In fact, I remember a children's book where that is exactly what happened. One child uttered a wish that Christmas could last all year long. Guess what happened by the end of the book? Christmas was no longer special and the child was tired of it.

Can you imagine being tired from life always having presents and goodies and special trimmings present? Although I had to admit when finishing the book that it made sense.

An ancient American prophet named Lehi once spoke words of profound truth that can be found in The Book of Mormon:

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, ... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad ... wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God" (2 Nephi 2:11-12).

Lehi continues:

"And now my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon" (2 Nephi 2:14).

Sometimes it takes a child's story to help understand a prophet's wisdom. What Lehi is trying to teach his people is that God's wisdom is greater than ours, and that we need opposition to bring forth righteousness.

Does this teaching help when a sudden tragedy has hit a family? I don't know. I suppose it depends on how deeply pondered the truth goes. During the middle of the crisis, a family is simply trying to keep their heads above water (as the saying goes).

It is usually after that wisdom begins to enter in. Sometimes the only way to gain wisdom is through the difficult path. But the easiest way is to consider that God has a greater perspective than we do ... and that He can be trusted.

I know that in my own life, even when my husband lost his job and even when our son died, that God has our best interests at heart. It may take some time to gain the perspective the prophet Lehi had, but if we continue faithful to God, we too will have such sage knowledge.

God has created us for Him mighty purposes and when we continue faithful to Him, His perspective one day will break through clearly in our minds and we will feel to rejoice of His goodness and His wisdom made manifest in our lives. And then, the word "adversity" will make much more sense.

In this world where so many activities happen on Sunday, what is a person to do? How are parents to raise children appropriately up unto the Lord?

One of the best ways to strengthen a child is to help them understand the wisdom behind the Lord's commandments. While there are so many in the world who seem to seek destruction of all that's good, I want my children to understand the Lord seeks only their good.

I once heard it said by John Bytheway, a popular Mormon speaker, that most youth will obey God's laws when they understand the "why" behind those laws. In other words, when a person grasps the principle behind the "command" (the reason for it), obedience tends to quickly return. For after all, there is joy in Godly living - I've felt it myself.

Of course, children will make mistakes (we do, too, as their parents). So explaining principles behind commandments is not to imply that all willful decisions from children will be done away with. But honest heart-to-heart discussions will do more to help children obey God than any other approach.

The Lord Himself taught the importance of Sabbath-day observance. One of the most famous quotations in the scriptures about Sabbath-day observance is found in Exodus 20 (the famous "Ten Commandments" chapter).

The Lord teaches a truth to Moses and his people, a truth that brings eternal blessings:

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."

The Lord so expressly commanded this that He also said that nothing and nobody are to work on His Day:

"Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

"But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy, son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

"For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it" (Exodus 20:8-11).

Some might ask, "What about nurses, doctors, and such - aren't they needed at their places of work on the Day of the Lord?" This question, though, is not for me to answer. I only know and can only repeat what the Lord Himself expressed - to keep the Sabbath holy.

In fact, when my kids approach me with, "Mommy, can I do this on Sunday?", I rarely respond with a yes or no answer.

Instead, I reply, "What is the purpose of the Sabbath?"

In an instant, their heart convicts them; they know whether or not the purpose for which they asked was sanctioned by the Lord or not.

Indeed, it is not for us to judge another's decisions, whether regarding Sabbath-day observance or in any other category. Worship is a matter between a person and God, privately offered, even when done in a congregation on the Sabbath.

Yet it is one thing to teach our children the bold commandment of Sabbath-day observance; it is completely a different and deeper matter to help them understand the "why" of the commandment.

Did you know that lack of Sabbath day observance is linked with widespread drought? Did you know that lack of Sabbath day observance is linked with loss of war-time efforts? I could go on and on, but the examples are all found in the scriptures.

The point I desire my children to know is the following:

"Behold, the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one; he that is righteous is favored of God...." (1 Nephi 17:35, emphasis added).

Continuing on in 1 Nephi 17, we read:

"Behold, the Lord hath created the earth that it should be inhabited; and he hath created his children that they should possess it.

"And he raiseth up a righteous nation, and destroyeth the nations of the wicked.

"And he leadeth away the righteous into precious lands, and the wicked he destroyeth, and curseth the land FOR THEIR SAKES.

""...this earth is his footstool.

"...he loved our fathers, and he covenanted with them, yea, even Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and he remembered the covenants which he had made; wherefore, he did bring them out of the land of Egypt" (1 Nephi 17:36-40, emphasis added).

With all my heart, I want my children to see that there are consequences for ALL choices: joyful blessings brought by God for good choices; sorrowful ones for disobedient choices. God is not vindictive; He simply works by and through eternal laws. As a result, the blessings that come for those who honor the Sabbath and treat it in holy fashion receive the greatest of all God's blessings - for they demonstrate to Him that He comes first in all things.

The Day of the Lord is a holy one. How best to spend it? That can only be answered in individual honest communication with God Himself. But I hope to teach my children the wonders of God and His blessings for those who seek Him always. I hope my children discover the peace given to those who stop their weekly endeavors for just 24 hours - to contemplate the might and majesty of Him who loves them more than can be comprehended at this point!

[Here is excellent additional material to read more on the subject of the glory of Sabbath day observance and the Day of the Lord.]

Can you imagine telling your child, in a busy store, "Go find Daddy." Without any directions as to where "Daddy" is, the assigned task would be pretty tough.

Now pretend your child had never seen his father. How trying it would be then for that child to go person to person saying, "Are you my Daddy?" "Are YOU my Daddy?"

Teaching children to find God in their lives could be very much like this scenario if we, too, are only guessing at who God is. How could we point our children in the right direction if we're not sure ourselves. Success in "finding" Him could be a little hard to come by.

This is why I love General Conference. General Conference is a meeting held two times a year by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormon church).

During General Conference, we get to hear from church leadership. Some of the speakers serve in the Quorum of Twelve Apostles or they serve in the First Presidency; others are members of the Seventy. This is structured after the perfect pattern Christ established while on the earth.

Additionally during General Conference, we might hear from the President of the General Relief Society (an organization for women in the Mormon church) and other men and women who serve in leadership positions in some of the other auxiliaries of the Church.

All of these speakers are men and women of God who love Him and who seek to put Him first in their lives. They spend countless hours in serving God's children on this earth. To review their words, feel free to visit this General Conference page. These men and women of God understand who He is; they teach of Him and how to find Him. How much easier for us to "find Him" when we listen to the words of those who already know Him.

One of the speakers at the most recent General Conference was Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. He is an Apostle; he serves on the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. His calling is the same as that held by the Apostle Peter and others during the time of Christ's ministry on the earth nearly 2000 years ago. He is to testify of Jesus Christ. Elder Holland's job is to help us find our Lord and God.

Elder Holland spoke at this past General Conference. The title of his discourse or talk was "The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Hath Sent."

Here is a portion of what he shared:

"Our first and foremost article of faith in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is 'We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.'

"We believe these three divine persons constituting a single Godhead are united in purpose, in manner, in testimony, in mission. We believe Them to be filled with the same godly sense of mercy and love, justice and grace, patience, forgiveness, and redemption.

"I think it is accurate to say we believe They are one in every significant and eternal aspect imaginable except believing Them to be three persons combined in one substance, a Trinitarian notion never set forth in the scriptures because it is not true.

"Indeed no less a source than the stalwart Harper’s Bible Dictionary records that 'the formal doctrine of the Trinity as it was defined by the great church councils of the fourth and fifth centuries is not to be found in the [New Testament] (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Hath Sent," Ensign, Nov 2007).

The beauty of these words is that we each can seek God's witness as to the truthfulness of this statement. The more we study our scriptures, the more we pray, the more we can come to know who God is and how to find Him in our individual lives.

To read the rest of Elder Holland's talk, visit "The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Hath Sent."

I'm so grateful with all the conflicting babble about God being here or there, or conflicting viewpoints about who God is, that we have men and women today who are actually called by God. They are to speak for Him, as the early Biblical prophets did (i.e. Moses and Abraham).

Remember the child in the store trying to find his father? Well, as God's children when we listen to His prophets and apostles, we will be able to find God - no matter where we might be!

For those who do not belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormons by those outside of the church), they may not understand why many members are so happy. At least this has been my personal experience—being a member of the church brings me happiness that is a bit difficult to explain. But for those who have not yet experienced this, it could be confusing.

I think it is exciting, then, that the Church has produced a new series of TV spots. The spots focus on real people sharing their real feelings about being a member of the Mormon church. The individuals in the ads were not coached. They were not given lines to speak. In fact, one individual said the only direction she received during the recording was the suggestion: "Can you say that again faster?" (remember, most spots are allowed only 30 or 60 seconds in between TV programs).

For example, according to the press release at this site, Betty Stevenson was one of the individuals filmed for those spots. She said the following about her experience of sharing what it was like: "There was no script! They let me be Betty!" During the recorded spot, she simply spoke of her conviction that "families are eternal," a concept she feels is "absolutely beautiful and correct."

Betty Stevenson is a convert to the Mormon church. She is one of a variety of individuals selected for the TV spots. As I pondered on her words, as contained in this news release at the Church's website, I thought of what I would have said if I'd been the one before the camera.

This much I know. My life is richer because I am a Mormon. I didn't use to be one. My family attended another denomination. The reason I am a Mormon is because my mother worked for a Mormon. She couldn't help but notice that there was something different about him and also about his family.

My mother was intrigued. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know why there seemed to be a special glow, a special feeling, a special something about that family. So she finally asked. It was that simple. And as a result, my family then began investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the teachings contained therein. We were baptized into the Mormon church as a result.

Flash forward now several decades. The fruit of that decision has been more glorious than perhaps even my mother could imagine. I too now am one of those happy Mormons, so grateful for the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, as restored by the prophet Joseph Smith.

Again, perhaps all of this is puzzling to those who've not passed through the same experience. But for me, I know of what Betty Stevenson referred to through her tears in that TV spot. And you can too! Visit Mormon.org and click on the link to speak to the missionaries. Decide for yourself. I think you'll be amazed at the peace the Spirit of the Lord will bring as you pursue deeper knowledge in this way! Click here.

If Jesus Christ's work is so important, what about my ancestors who have never heard of Him?

This question used to bother me, until I understood the Lord's eternal plan. He loves all His children: all those who have lived on the earth, who currently live on the earth, and even those yet to be born.

This being the case, and since God is perfect, would He not have a plan for all His children ... even those who lived during a time or in a country that did (or does not) have the gospel of Jesus Christ?

For individuals currently living in far-flung regions of the earth who have never heard of the Savior, the Lord sends missionaries. This is why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (called by some the Mormons) has such an ample missionary program. More than one million Mormons have served missions since the restoration of the Church in the 19th century!

But what about those who are deceased? What about those who lived during many dispensations of time when knowledge of Jesus Christ had not yet arrived? What about them?

The Lord, being a perfect God, has a plan for this also! It is a form of missionary work called Genealogy. Here is what the Church's website explains about the work of genealogy:

"In the spirit world, the restored gospel is preached to those who died without receiving it in mortality. Many of those in the spirit world accept the gospel, but without a body they cannot receive the ordinances necessary for salvation. The primary purpose of family history work is to obtain names and other genealogical information so that the temple ordinances can be performed in behalf of deceased ancestors."

Is this not amazing? What a kind and generous God. Does this not evoke trust in the Almighty? That He would have a perfect plan to redeem all of His children, in my mind, is such a witness of His love and grace towards all of us. Through God's Only Begotten Son, we have been redeemed. And through the work of genealogy, ALL of mankind can have that gift given to them!

Oh, how I love the gospel of Jesus Christ! Oh, how mighty it is to save. Oh, the wisdom of God and the grace of His Son Jesus Christ.

Indeed the gospel of Jesus Christ contains the power of redemption for all those who will partake. If you would like to learn more about Family History Work and Genealogy, feel free to click here. If you would like to learn more about the Mormon church (also known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), feel free to click here.

Just what is the Lord's perspective on the family? Have you ever wondered? There sure seem to be a lot of people "in the world" who have opinions. Some say that families don't matter, others say that they do. Studies show that having stable families with both a mother and a father are the healthiest for a child to grow up in; others want to contest those studies.

But what does God say - He who created us all in the first place? For those who read the scriptures, they will notice how family oriented the Bible is, for example. If you've not thought about this, then the next time you have a quiet moment, sit down with the Bible and flip through it. Notice how many stories are centered on families and their choices, whether for good or for ill.

Adam and Eve were the first family on earth. Notice as you read their story in Genesis and in the Pearl of Great Price, how Eve and Adam labored together. Everything they did, they did together and for a joint purpose.

Abraham and his wife are another example of the profound and extensive nature of "family". The Lord supports all such families with life-giving commandments such as those found in Exodus 20:12, 14-17; 21:15-17.

As the Bible Dictionary points out, if families weren't so important why are there so very many family genealogies given in the Bible's pages?

The Lord referred to his Father. And again, as the Bible Dictionary states, "Paul and Peter gave much counsel about the duties of husbands and wives, parents and children."

The beautiful thing that I've learned by being a Mormon is that not only does the Lord care about families here on the earth, but He also cares about families throughout the eternities. The Bible Dictionary defines this for us with the last sentence under the entry, "Family":

"... through the gospel of Jesus Christ the family can be sealed together in a permanent relationship for time and all eternity (see D&C 132)."

For more information on this joyous news, feel free to click here. To read the Lord's perspective on families, you can also study the Proclamation on the Family, given through the Lord's mouthpiece, prophet and President Hinckley.

Families really can be together forever. For this I'm most grateful. We live in a world where a Pastor will perform a marriage with the words "...until death do you part." This is because that is as far as his authority will go. But within the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, the power of God is given through proper priesthood channels to seal families on earth with eternal binding power. For more information, feel free to click here.

Personally this means more to me than practically anything else in my life. Why? Because I've lost a son. Our baby boy died of SIDS. Just as so few people can know the pain of this without having experienced it, so too can few people understand the peace that came the day before he died all the way through to after the day of the funeral. The Lord spoke to me through His Holy Spirit that all was well, that my son was well, and that my family will be together through the eternities as I embrace the Lord's ways, His covenants, and His promises.

Oh, what a thing to celebrate. Families can be together forever!

It is an awesome thing to be married. Or at least it can be. It is even better to be married in the temple of the Lord.

Temples are mentioned in the Bible. Many on the earth are not aware, though, of current day temples. Our current prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Gordon B. Hinckley, has said (click here for the full text):

"Was there ever a man or a woman who, in a time of quiet introspection, has not pondered the solemn mysteries of life?

"Has he or she not asked, 'Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? What is my relationship to my Maker? Will death rob me of the treasured associations of life? What of my family? Will there be another existence after this, and, if so, will we know one another there?'"

President Hinckley then goes on to explain that the answer to these questions are held by God and that He has revealed them through His word. The temples are "sacred structures in which these and other eternal questions are answered. Each is dedicated as a house of the Lord, a place of holiness and peace shut apart from the world" (Ibid.)

I remember my wedding day, begun in one such building. My husband and I were married in the Oakland Temple, in Oakland, California. I remember waiting in those sacred hallowed halls for that beautiful ceremony. It is difficult to describe the transcendent peace and calm that attends those who visit the temple. My wedding day was no different.

Yes, indeed, to begin my marriage in such a beautiful edifice, full of the spirit of God, was a hallowed start indeed. Others can attest to a similar experience, whether they were married in the Oakland Temple, the Washington, D.C. Temple, or the Seoul Korea Temple (currently there are more than 120 temples in existence throughout the world).

But what about the day after such a sacred experience? And the month after? The years after? What can be done to continue such a beautiful start, extending it into the years that stretch ahead?

My husband and I have found several things that have helped to retain those quiet feelings of peace and serenity that surrounded our wedding day.

1. We always pray before retiring to bed each evening and upon waking each morning.

2. We always worship the Lord on the Sabbath day.

3. We attend the temple as frequently as possible, returning to worship the Lord and to give thanks for the gospel truths contained within the temple.

4. We study His word throughout the week, not just on Sundays.

5. We seek to serve those around us without complaint (including each other), as much as possible.

My husband and I are grateful to be married. Even better, we're grateful to have established a marriage in the best place possible - the house of the Lord. This indeed is what the Lord would have for all His children, every single one of them. For more information, visit The Purpose of Temples.