Strengthening Families & Marriages

My daughter asked me yesterday, with great concern in her young voice, why bad things had to happen to good people. She was thinking of the people in Burma (Myanmar) and in China with the recent, horrific events they're experiencing.

I thought of what a deep question this was and indeed, a question that has been asked by people and individuals off and on throughout the history of the world.

I am not a philosopher by trade. In fact, the first two times I attempted to take a required Philosophy class in college, I dropped the class both times; the thinkings were deep and difficult to follow. But because I couldn't graduate without the class, I finally tried a third time. This time, the newest professor actually made sense and his overall enthusiasm soon moved me to a spot where Philosophy became my favorite subject.

But this still doesn't mean I can answer deep philosophical questions the same way a true professional "Philosopher" would. In fact, at dictionary.com the definitions of the term "philosophy" are multiple (how ironic this is -- even within the definition there are different approaches and answers about this one word!).

One definition is: "the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct." Another definition is "the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, esp. with a view to improving or reconstituting them: the philosophy of science."

But one of the final definitions mentioned really struck me: "a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs." And it is from this perspective that I want to write today.

As rhetorical as some people could get about "why bad things happen to good people", all of that rhetoric doesn't help soothe the anguish of the moment experienced by individuals suffering through severe times, such as those people in Burma or in China with the cyclone or earthquake (respectively).

But Jesus Christ does speak to this suffering. First of all, He knows of what He speaks. He, who bled from every pore in the Garden of Gethsemane, knows of suffering. He knows of anguish. For He carried it all so that He might know how to succor God's children. And here is what He said,

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls" (Matthew 11:28-29).

I may not have all the philosophical answers to the difficult questions of the world, but I know Someone who does. I testify that He does lift burdens and answer unanswerable questions. All we need do is turn to Him.

Here is more information about Jesus Christ and some of the answers He provides to some of the more unanswerable questions of this life.

When somebody has hurt us or someone we love, we feel angry. Oftentimes we feel anguish. The emotions may run so deep and so hard that we wonder if we'll ever feel light-hearted again.

I remember when a friend's dear husband was beaten up and left to die on the side of a barren highway. If it weren't for the miracle of someone finding him in time, my friend would have been left a widow with several young children.

These kinds of incidents are hard to understand. My husband and I have lost a baby to SIDS. Then my husband lost his job soon after our baby died. I've had three miscarriages. We've had other challenges. I suppose it could be easy to exclaim to God, "Why are you doing this to us?"

But in my experience, it is not that God is "doing this to us." It's something completely different. There is a scripture that helps me to understand a much deeper perspective. It's not an easy perspective, but it is a far more looking-down-the-road perspective than I normally would have.

First, a little background. Lehi was an ancient American prophet. His teachings can be found in the Book of Mormon. What he had to say on the topic of suffering was quite instructive.

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility (2 Ne 2:11).

Prophets speak of things as God sees them. What this prophet, Lehi, taught was that without opposition, nothing good can be brought to pass. Thus, if all opposition ceased, good would cease also. Lehi teaches then this entire creation of our planet and ourselves would have no purpose. Again, a deep thought, but an important one if we are to understand life's existence and experiences. He goes on:

Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God (Ibid.).

In other words, by my wishing for no hard times, that kind of a world would literally be at odds with the wisdom of God. When I doubt, I am saying I know better than God Himself!

And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away (Ibid.).

Sometimes I think the easiest way to understand these things is when I think of a friend who had cancer. She said ten years after the experience that it was the only way she could have learned what she did about herself, her tenacity, etc. I've heard others say similar things. Of course they don't have this perspective DURING the trial, but time has a way of broadening understanding. It is this kind of wisdom these friends have gained through their challenges that Lehi specifically spoke about!

Of course, when somebody has hurt us or hurt someone we love, we feel angry. Of course we oftentimes feel anguish. The Lord understands our emotions. The emotions may run so deep and so hard that we wonder if we'll ever feel light-hearted again. But as we turn to God and read from the scriptures He has given us, we will gain a closer perspective to that which He holds. And we one day may be like my friend who said her challenge was the only way to gain the priceless knowledge she then had!

To read more about Lehi and what he said, click this Book of Mormon link.

Raising children to make sound choices can challenge even the best of parents. For example, while a child is only two years old, parenting can seem quite simple. If the little one runs out in the street, we pull him back. If he's climbing too high a tree, we pull him down.

But what about when they are older? There are many times we want to pull our kids back to safety, but as parents we also recognize that at some point they are going to be on their own. We won't be around to pull them out of "dangerous streets" or "too tall trees." What do we do? How do we best prepare them?

True, we parent like crazy while we have them still with us. But sometimes that still isn't enough. We need to provide perfect modeling in as many situations as possible so they can make wise choices while out on their own.

But we're not perfect parents, so how can we perfectly model appropriate decision making? We may not always make perfect choices ourselves, because after all we're not perfect, nor are we perfectly wise. But there is One who is. The Lord sent His Son to show us the way. And the more we study the scriptures, the more we can reference Christ's perfect example for our children.

I'm sure you've heard the expression, "What Would Jesus Do?" It's a great quote and a very helpful one. And there is no better place to learn what Jesus would do than in the scriptures.

It is while we explore the many accounts of His life that we begin learning of His perfect ways. Eventually then we will be able to proclaim, "I know in whom I trust," and rely on His ways. As we do so, our children will see this. And if they are taught while young, when they are old they will not depart from it.

Thus, there is no better way to teach than from the scriptures. An ancient Book of Mormon prophet spoke these same words in explaining why he kept scripture records:

"And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and profit of my children....

"...I know in whom I have trusted" (2 Nephi 4:15, 19).

Nephi wrote these words during great anguish of soul. Two of this prophet's brothers had tried several times to kill him, because they hated the ways of the Savior. So when Nephi wrote in whom he trusted, these were not idle words!

As we teach our children from the pages of scriptures and as they read of these great ancient individuals, they too may learn in whom they can trust. And as they lean ever more on the arm of the Lord, their choices will instinctively be ever more worthy of Him and bring them (and us) joy!

Click here to read more from the Book of Mormon about this great prophet and many others.

How do we help our children cling to the teachings of our Heavenly Father? How do we help them stay safe in a world that seems so interested in stuffing sin in their lives? With porn companies now seeking seven to eleven year olds as their newest customers, life has suddenly taken on quite urgent tones. And in the middle of it all, contention seems to be rising - on the freeways, in the schools, at our homes.

The Book of Mormon contains great truths to help parents arm their children in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon faithfully read will do more to help children and parents faithfully endure in the name of Jesus Christ than any other book. I have seen this in my own life. And look what President Marion G. Romney said about the importance of reading the Book of Mormon in our families. (President Romney was a leader in the Mormon church several decades ago - but his promise still holds true.)

"I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their hcildren, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein.

"The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase.

"Faith, hope, and charity - the pure love of Christ - will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness" (Ensign, May 1980, 67).

Look again at the promises he lists for those families who read daily from the Book of Mormon!

•The spirit of reverence will increase
•Mutual respect will grow
•Consideration for each other will grow
•The spirit of contention will depart
•Parents will counsel in greater love
•Parents will counsel in greater wisdom
•Children will be more responsive
•Children will be more submissive
•Righteousness will increase
•The pure love of Christ will abound
•We will know peace, joy, happiness

These are amazing promises. And what a simple pathway to obtaining them. Simply find five or ten minutes a day to personally read from the Book of Mormon; simply find five or ten minutes a day to also read as a family from its pages. Soon you may want to read more, but all along the way you'll reap amazing rewards for the experience as you do so consistently. Your children will be strengthened against the wiles of the devil and especially, contention will diminish over time.

Here is a link to the Book of Mormon to get started!

My birthday month should have been a happy one. But frightening news came of an assault on those least able to defend themselves: the newly born.

First a little background. Back in 2005, doctors in the Netherlands openly admitted killing spina bifida babies (a neurological impairment at the spine) and other babies with defects - under the guise of bioethical decisions and protocol.

Now flash forward three years. Whereas this report back in 2005 brought shock and horror from different governments around the world, now an article in a leading bioethics journal actually defends the practice! So I ask: How far are societies in the world falling - and so fast - that they only value those with perfectly-formed bodies?

What some view as deformities - therefore they argue the "necessity" of infanticide - God views in a different light. He, after all, allowed the disability in the first place. An early apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) stated:

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer ... builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable,..." (Kenneth H. Beesley, "What Is the Purpose of Suffering," New Era, April 1975, 36).

Who are we to argue the lack of worth of an individual? Who are we to set a level set on which baby deserves to live and which needs to die? If the infanticide were contained only to the Netherlands, it would still be horrifying. But even more shocking is that the attitude that these infanticide actions are defensible, is now spreading. All in the name of preventing "suffering."

Just why does the Lord allow suffering? For even Jesus Christ was not immune from suffering. We read in Hebrew 5:8:

"Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered" (Heb 5:8).

What is so instructive about suffering that God, who loves us, allows suffering? What jewels of insight or experiences are to be gained? The apostle Paul spoke to this 2000 years ago. He said:

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Cor 12:10).

In this confusing world we live in, where people are willing to kill a baby because of some physical anomaly, how comforting it is to hear the word of God through His prophets. There is a wisdom and a purpose to our existence here, even when a baby is born with spina bifida. Just as a two-year old does not understand the wisdom of his parents when they parent him, we do not yet always understand the purposes of God. But this much we know: Families are important. They are central to His plan. As such, each child matters! No-one deserves to be murdered at the hands of a physician, simply because the spinal cord did not fully form.

May we be vocal in support of the family. May we seek God's will by studying His words, whether through the scriptures or through the words of modern day prophets. Regardless of how we do it, may we be defenders of the family and bring joy to the family as many ways as possible!

Sometimes we struggle in life. All of us do. Life holds many wonders, but along the way through life we also experience a variety of upsets.

Frustration can lead to angry outbursts. I find it helpful to study the word of God to help me understand my frustrations and to help me avoid angry outbursts.

The Book of Mormon is a book of holy verse that acts as a companion to the Bible in witnessing of Jesus Christ. Just like God called ancient prophets near Jerusalem (whose words we have recorded in the Bible), God also called ancient American prophets here in the Americas. Makes sense. Why would God - who is an impartial God - only share His teachings with one small subset of His children?

I love the Book of Mormon. It contains the words of the ancient American prophets. I love being able to use it as a resource and aid to my study of the Bible. As Mormons we study both books and revere both as the word of God. And in the Book of Mormon we can read of the power of God's word.

"And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just - yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them - therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God" (Alma 31:5).

We too can experience this power, the power of God's word, in our own lives. All we need do is study it. And as we study the scriptures, we become transformed by them.

Think of an ink pad that has been fully inked. Anything pressed against it will leave the experience with inky residue. Nearly any experience in life is similar. If we hang around people with sour opinions, we tend to start picking up dour attitudes ourself. If we associate with upbeat people, full of optimism and enthusiasm, we begin to have a better glimpse of what they see and the chances are, it will rub off on us!

Associating fully with the word of God is the same. The more we study of His ways, the more we will get to know Him. The more we get to know Him, the more His ways become appealing to us. He is a God of love after all!

The more His ways appeal to us, the more they begin to transform us into children of God, individuals who live holy lives, who make covenants, and who have found the greatness of joy He offers!

The scriptures indeed are like a very fully inked ink-pad. The more we "press" ourselves into them, the more the scriptures will leave their mark.

The good news of all of this is that if we struggle with anger or any other unpleasing vice, the more we study of God's ways, the more His patient perspective will begin to transform our ways.

I know, because I have experienced this process of change myself. As we can read in "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts": "An understanding of true doctrine will help you change your attitudes and behaviors."

One of the biggest struggles I've had to face in this life is impatience. But as I've pressed myself more fully into the scriptures, I'm learning of God's ways and becoming transformed by the experience!

Sometimes we do struggle in life. But I find that when I study the word of God, His truths help me understand my frustrations and help me avoid angry outbursts or other unpleasant scenes. Truly the gospel of Jesus Christ is amazing.

Here is a link to online scriptures. Enjoy reading the word of God!

Sometimes as we go through life, we encounter setbacks, challenges, and weaknesses. I don't know about you, but when I face these kinds of moments, I feel frustrated, for I want to please God. I want to bring forth works, choices, and activities that His Son, Jesus Christ did. In fact, I study my scriptures so that I can see His patterns and works; I want to do what He did.

So when I stumble and fall, I am filled with regret. And it is during these kinds of moments, that if I'm not careful, discouragement fills me.

Discouragement does not come from God. God is a God of light, of love, of encouragement. Discouragement does not come from our Father in Heaven, but instead from the adversary - he who seeks to destroy us.

The apostle Peter spoke of this adversary. We have Peter's record in the New Testament. He said,

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8).

We do not need to fear the adversary, but we do need to be vigilant and serious about what the adversary seeks - our destruction. So is it any wonder that one of the adversary's most clever of tools is that of discouragement? For if we give in to discouragement, generally we choose to give up. We choose the path of least resistance. We give up our dreams, our worthy thoughts, our worthy desires.

No, discouragement does not come from the Lord. But He has given us an antidote for it: "Your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you" (D&C 88:67). As the pamphlet, "Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts," instructs,

"Fill your life with truth, righteousness, peace, and faith. As you fill your life with goodness, there will be no room for...sources of spiritual darkness."

Oh, how I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. For therein I learn how to escape darkness and find joy in Him who came to redeem us all! As I study the scriptures and pray for guidance, the Lord will bring to me strength to overcome discouragement and other forms of spiritual darkness that the adversary would throw my way.

The adversary may seek my destruction, but Christ seeks my everlasting happiness. Like Joshua in the Old Testament declared:

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; ... but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).

I invite you to come here the next time you feel discouraged. Immerse yourselves in the scriptures and feel of God's love for you. The Lord will help you in all things if you but turn to Him!

Family life can contain the most beautiful of experiences or it can contain some of the most horrendous. The Mormon church (the official name of the church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) seeks to aid its members to strengthen their families in Christ-like love.

Abuse should never exist. But sometimes it does. That is the reality of life. Sometimes parents were abused as children. They did not learn, while young, how to handle frustration, what to do with anger, and how to avoid hurting others.

But the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that there is always the possibility of change, of healing, of growth into new ways. Jesus Christ extends His hand to all who will take it.

The Mormon church leadership strive to help Mormons (and others) find Christ and apply His teachings in the family and personal setting. This is why the church has been so outspoken against the pernicious harm of abuse.

Here is the Mormon church's definition of abuse:

"Abuse is the treatment of others or self in a way that causes injury or offense. It harms the mind and the spirit and often injures the body as well. It can cause confusion, doubt, mistrust, and fear. It is a violation of the laws of society and is in total opposition to the teachings of the Savior. The Lord condemns abusive behavior in any form - physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. Abusive behavior may lead to Church discipline." ("Abuse," LDS.org)

Sometimes abusive habits have become addictions and will not budge without counseling. Anger management counselors should be sought in cases where a person strikes out in anger. Counseling should also be sought for those who keep reaching for alcohol - even after promising they wouldn't. Counseling is especially necessary in a similar setting where an individual returns again to view pornography. These all are habits that alone few can break.

The Lord is there for all who seek His help. All sin can be conquered with help from the Master himself. This is why the gospel of Jesus Christ has been called the "Good News."

Fasting is essential for those who seek to break themselves from unhealthy and harmful habits. Prayer is also urgent in everyone's lives. Sabbath day worship at church will also aid someone who seeks to improve their lives (here is a meetinghouse locator to find a local congregation). Scripture study is another important aid.

Two scriptures to pray and ponder about regarding the Lord's perspective of abuse are Matthew 18:1-6 and D&C 121:34-46. And here are several discourses on the same subject which should provide additional light and help:

"Personal Worthiness"

"A Conversation on Spouse Abuse"

"Save the Children"

"Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse"

"The Wrongful Road of Abuse"

Yes, indeed, the Lord desires His people to love one another and to aid one another in returning to His presence. If you know anyone who struggles with abuse, please invite them to read each of the above discourses in addition to the linked scriptures above. Invite them to begin fasting, praying, and studying scriptures. These activities will invite a spirit of humility, which in turn, will allow the Lord Jesus Christ to change their very being. A counselor to aid in the process is also advised.

"Homes are more permanent through love. Oh, then, let love abound. Though you fall short in some material matters, study and work and pray to hold your children’s love. Establish and maintain your family hours always. Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and worship together."
(President David O. McKay, 1968)

President David O. McKay was the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints several decades ago. He has since passed away. But his teachings have not passed on. They still exist. And this quote above is particularly pertinent in today's world.

How happy I am when I visit a place and see parents parenting in love. Children are so tender. And when children err, it is rarely through defiance. Instead, when children make mistakes they do so not in spite, but simply (and usually) out of curiosity or lack of inhibition.

How pleased the Lord must be when He sees parents who recognize the innocence of childhood and parent accordingly. This is why I love this quote above from one of our previous Mormon prophets.

What President McKay stated is so true. Our homes do become more permanent organizations when love abounds. Yet so much of the opposite exists. There is too much of yelling in today's world. There is too much of tempers being lost, of unkind words being flung. Oh, how the Lord must weep when He sees some of us acting much like that two-year-old ourselves.

And yet there is no need to lose hope when we ourselves have misbehaved or acted out in frustration (much like a frustrated toddler). No, instead if we follow the prophet's counsel above, soon enough we will begin to see progress in our abilities to parent as the Lord would if He were here in our stead.

So what did President David O. McKay say? He said that "though you fall short in some material matters, study and work and pray to hold your children's love..."

Study. Work. Pray. What profound truths. And what better book to study for parents than that of the scriptures. In fact, what about this idea? What if the next time we felt short-tempered with our children, what if we put OURSELVES in time-out? And what if during that time out, we read the "good book" itself, the scriptures? Indeed, by studying in the scriptures we are much more likely to find a way to resolve the problem at hand.

As the prophet said:

"Establish and maintain your family hours always. Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and worship together...."

There are some profound and powerful truths contained within those simply statements. May we all begin discovering those truths, myself included, on a deeper and deeper basis. The Lord Himself will be most pleased as we join the ranks of parents who please Him and who act like Him, merciful even during the most discouraging times of trouble. This way our homes will indeed become more permanent through love.

As Mormons, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in prophets. The Lord has used prophets many times throughout the history of the world to teach His children proper living (see Amos 3:7.)

The good news for today is that the Lord still follows that same pattern! There is a prophet on the earth that speaks for God, just as Moses or Abraham did so long ago.

Gordon B. Hinckley is the name of the Lord's prophet today. He is a soft-spoken man, one who is deliberate in his desires to share the good news of Jesus Christ with the world. You can find many of his discourses and teachings here at this link.

In the December 2007 magazine publication of the Church, called the Ensign, the featured article is written by President Hinckley. Here is just a snippet so that you can get a little bit of an idea of the tremendous nature of this man of God.

"Do you want a spirit of love to grow in the world? Then begin within the walls of your own home. Behold your little ones, and see within the wonders of God, from whose presence they have recently come. . ." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "These, Our Little Ones," Ensign, Dec 2007, 2-7)

Throughout the article, this man of God addresses a growing evil in our society - the abuse of children. He speaks of the Lord's concern for those who abuse the little ones amongst us; he speaks of the Lord's tender desires for those little ones.

The thing I found fascinating in this article is that President Hinckley gives four imperatives that are so profound and yet so simple to do if we are to care well for our children. These "Four Imperatives" are:

1. Love them.
2. Teach them.
3. Respect them.
4. Pray with them.

President Hinckley mentions a bumper sticker he'd once seen - quote: "Have your hugged your child today?" So I ask of us, Have we hugged our children today?

Time is so fleeting. And so much of what we get wrapped up in, if closely examined, might make us blush. Very few on their future deathbeds will likely utter, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office!"

What is it about death that forces us to stare reality in the face? Thus, I'm so grateful for the sage and kind words of a prophet today that pleads with people to come to their senses. We are to begin at home if we want the "spirit of love to grow in the world", as quoted from President Hinckley above.

President Hinckley also shares a quote in his discourse from an early Mormon prophet, Brigham Young, as saying:

"A child loves the smiles of its mother, but hates her frowns. I tell the mothers not to allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the same time to treat them with mildness ...

"Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; ... never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you." (Ibid.)

Oh, may we hearken to these wise counsels and love well the little ones amongst us to avoid otherwise frightening consequences. (Matthew 18:6)

The Lord loves His little ones. We are to care for them as if He were present in all our doings - for one day we will find He was and is more present than we might recognize currently.

(To read the full text of President Hinckley's inspiring discourse on how to be a better parent, click here.)

As Mormons, we believe children are a blessing. It's why Mormon families tend to be larger than average. But even Mormons struggle to raise their children with grace and to teach them gratitude, amongst other things.

Two nights ago I had the bright idea I'd take my little 6-year-old to a basketball game at the high school. It would be great fun, I thought. He was excited, or so he thought.

And so off we went. On the way he asked if we could go to eat afterwards, "As a date, Mommy!"

"Sure," I said, and snuggled completely into the warmth of the moment - even though he'd already eaten before we left.

Flash forward about an hour. I'd bought him a sack of popcorn. He plowed through that. I bought him a bottle of water. He drank through that. He then ate two cookies from the snack bar.

Now mind you, this is my youngest son who had therapy six times a week in the early years of his life, because he was a "failure to thrive" baby. He should have died from all of his complications.

In fact, for the first three years of my little guy's life, therapists taught him essential things like how to walk, to learn that he had a right arm, and also how to eat. What a remarkable thing - can you imagine a baby not knowing how to eat? But that was my son.

When his therapy ended on his third birthday due to the funding running out, the speech therapist reminded me that I was to let my son lead the way with his food choices, due to the extreme experiences he'd had initially. Thus, when he requests food we rejoice as a family, because the fact he can even eat is a miracle.

But now flash forward several years to our basketball "date." It was hard for me not to feel frustration as my little guy continued to whine and complain, and complain and whine, about his lack of a candy bar. He had began to lose sight of a simple, but important grace - gratitude.

As we left the basketball stadium, again all he could mention was not getting a candy bar. By the time we were in the car, I could think of only one thing to say: "Little guy, I'm feeling sad right now."

He stopped his diatribe and asked, "Why, Mommy?"

I took a moment to respond, then took a deep breath. "Because I think the only thing you'll ever remember from this evening is not that I took you on an outing to a basketball game, not that I bought you water to drink, not that I bought you popcorn. I don't think you'll even remember that I bought you a pack of cookies. No, I fear the only thing you'll ever remember from tonight is that I didn't buy you a candy bar."

He paused for a long while, then said, "It's ok, Mommy. By the time I'm an old man, then I'll forget you didn't buy me a candy bar."

Aren't children delightful? Yes, they can bring frustration. But they can bring so much more. As he said those very words, I felt struck with a simple thought: Do I do this to the Lord? I suddenly felt ashamed for all the times I'd held grudges or complaints in my heart about my own perceived missing "candy bars". Talk about out-of-the-mouths-of-babes!

No wonder the Lord said:

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

"Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: ..." (Psalm 127:3-5).

Yes, as Mormons, we believe children are a blessing. It's why Mormon families tend to be larger than average. I only hope that the next time I feel frustrated with my child's slow growth in Christ-like traits, that I'll remind myself I need to grow in grace, too!

Airports are some of my favorite places to be. Not for traveling. Not at all. Now with all the awful security considerations, traveling has lost its zest for me.

But I do love airports. Why? Because there is no place on earth it would seem with as many hugs, tears and love - other than at funerals!

Think about it. If you've not been at an airport recently, you need to visit one. Take a quiet seat in the corner, open a magazine, and pretend to read it. Even treat yourself to a bagel and chocolate milk. Then just start watching.

Watch the new arrivals. Watch the departures. In the midst of them all there is one common theme. Families have suddenly discovered they love one another! Mothers hugging children, husbands hugging wives, grandparents hugging grandkids.

It's the most amazing thing. Whereas just yesterday these same people might have been spouting the ugliest of comments to each other, feeling tizzies and tirades near to overwhelm, today they suddenly have discovered the value of this person standing at their side.

Cameras flash; pictures are taken. All moments to be preserved for another time, a time when the family gathers around again (most likely at Christmas) and reminisces about all the "good times." The photo albums are turned, page by page, as fingers touch faded pictures and even tears are shared with a few good chuckles.

My question: What is it about being near the wings of a plane that squeezes the heart? Why does it take airports for some families to squeeze out a few gentle moments for loved ones standing near? In fact, why wait until the airport for your family to experience the same hugs of joy?

This blog seeks to serve you, to help you find those gentle moments - and to find them much more frequently. We'll be discussing anger management, children's needs, your own needs and those of your spouse. Other topics will touch on family fun, FHE (Family Home Evenings), and favorite family traditions.

We'll even give you travel and vacation ideas, in addition to tips on home management and keeping the gospel central to your family relationships! Marital intimacy, parenting skills, and words of the prophets will round out what we offer to you. Make sure to bookmark this page so you can easily come back daily for info to help you.

Just know, the Lord loves you. He knows the difficulty of the path you trod. You are not alone. We care about you and will be working to ensure the information we give you here will be about what matters most to you. We look forward to reading your comments on each post, so make sure to let us know your thoughts!

And do go visit an airport. You'll see what I mean! :0)