Strengthening Families & Marriages

With all the turmoil in the world today, a parent might well ask, "Where is safety for my children? For my family? For me?"

Our generation can now obtain news at any hour of the day (it used to be just the "evening news" that people would check). And most news that comes across the wire or across the internet or on TV contains bleary and dreary information. Shooters at a school. Freedoms being lost. Corrupt individuals. Wheat shortages. Wars in distant (or close) lands. And on and on.

Then there are the societal trends which seem to slide ever faster down the slippery slope of sin. What used to be underwear thirty years ago (camisoles to shield women's blouses from being too sheer) is now blatantly worn as if shirts. Without going into too much detail, so much of what used to be only worn under clothing now is boldly worn as daily wear.

The traditional family is under attack on many fronts. Alternative lifestyles are being taught in the schools. Children's play things, technology and such, now feature abilities to carry pornography. According to researchers, in fact, porn companies newest targeted audiences are children 7 to 11 years of age.

What is a parent to do? Again, where can we go for safety? Here is what one church leader for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (casually called the Mormon church) has said. Harold B. Lee served as the prophet and President of the Mormon church a number of decades ago. This is what he said in 1943:

"I was down in Kelsey, Texas, last November, and I heard a group of anxious people asking, 'Is now the day for us to come up to Zion, where we can come to the mountain of the Lord, where we can be protected from our enemies?'

"I pondered that question. I prayed about it. What should we say to those people who are in their anxiety? I have studied it a bit, I have learned something of what the Spirit has taught, and I know now that the place of safety in this world is not in any given place; it doesn't make so much difference where we live; but the all-important thing is how we live, and I have found that ... security can come to Israel only when they keep the commandments, when they live so that they can enjoy the companionship, the direction, the comfort, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit of the Lord, when they are willing to listen to these men whom God has set here to preside as His mouthpieces, and when we obey the counsels of the Church" (Conference Report, April 1943, p 129, emphasis added)."

The day of danger is coming of course, according to the scriptures, when individuals will need flee to Zion or face taking up weapons against their neighbors (see D&C 45:66-68, Zechariah 14:13, and Isaiah 10:3). But apparently that day has not arrived. When it does, the Lord's prophet at that time will sound the warning. But until then, the answer to the question, "Where is Safety?", lies within the hearts and lives of the people. When we are...

• keeping the commandments
• living so that the Spirit of God is present
• and following the Lord's annointed/counsels of the Church

...we will be guided into paths of safety, both for ourselves and our little ones. Thus, how do we know the counsels of the Lord so that we may have those promised blessings of safety? By reading the scriptures and by studying the words of the living prophets. What a blessing to know this and to do it!

I am not the best mother. I admit. How I'd like it to be different, but try as I might, I still make mistakes. Oh, they're not huge mistakes, but they are mistakes all the same. Like wishing I'd spent more time riding the bike with my son ... every day, rather than just sometimes. Like reading stories longer each day with my little ones while small instead of just a few minutes each time. The list could go on and on.

Perhaps this is why I feel the need recently to focus on my children more. I am a stay-at-home mom, so they already do get a lot of "face time" with me. But I sometimes wonder how effective some of it really is. You know the kinds of moments perhaps. Like washing the dishes as the kids come in to talk at the end of the day. My thoughts can be full of other preoccupations and so the kids might simply get an absent-minded "uh, huh" as they talk. My eyes are elsewhere as I stew on how to solve whatever problem faces me at the moment.

In fact, I wonder how often adults as a general rule really listen to kids. How often do we actually look them in the eye when they speak to us? I've seen it in the movies or in commercials, with the little kid coming to the table and the dad is sitting there, face in the newspaper, just muttering hmmphs as responses to the young one.

I don't want to be like this. Families can be together forever! And so I stop and ponder, more so even recently, what kind of "forever" am I creating today!

Children who have happy times with their families are less peer prone, less likely to cave to peer pressure. There are so many ways to increase that happy time. But most of it involves relinquishing the heavy burdens we carry as adults and being willing to embrace our kids with full-hearted hugs and to look them square in the face and say, "I love you."

Life is too short to be caught up in problems. True, they need to be solved. If ignored, problems turn into emergencies. But the older I get, the more I realize that my kids deserve their mom's undivided attention more times than not.

Experts suggest turning off the TV, the radio, or even (gasp) the computer. Unplug the phone and pull out an old-fashioned card game. Make a difference by focusing on the heart, soul, and laughter of your children. I know that it's something I'm seeking more to do.

Latter-day prophets have taught us families can be together forever and that they are central to God's plan for our happiness. I sure want that forever to be a happy one, full of laughs and happy memories. Best get started today!