Strengthening Families & Marriages

As Mormons, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in prophets. The Lord has used prophets many times throughout the history of the world to teach His children proper living (see Amos 3:7.)

The good news for today is that the Lord still follows that same pattern! There is a prophet on the earth that speaks for God, just as Moses or Abraham did so long ago.

Gordon B. Hinckley is the name of the Lord's prophet today. He is a soft-spoken man, one who is deliberate in his desires to share the good news of Jesus Christ with the world. You can find many of his discourses and teachings here at this link.

In the December 2007 magazine publication of the Church, called the Ensign, the featured article is written by President Hinckley. Here is just a snippet so that you can get a little bit of an idea of the tremendous nature of this man of God.

"Do you want a spirit of love to grow in the world? Then begin within the walls of your own home. Behold your little ones, and see within the wonders of God, from whose presence they have recently come. . ." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "These, Our Little Ones," Ensign, Dec 2007, 2-7)

Throughout the article, this man of God addresses a growing evil in our society - the abuse of children. He speaks of the Lord's concern for those who abuse the little ones amongst us; he speaks of the Lord's tender desires for those little ones.

The thing I found fascinating in this article is that President Hinckley gives four imperatives that are so profound and yet so simple to do if we are to care well for our children. These "Four Imperatives" are:

1. Love them.
2. Teach them.
3. Respect them.
4. Pray with them.

President Hinckley mentions a bumper sticker he'd once seen - quote: "Have your hugged your child today?" So I ask of us, Have we hugged our children today?

Time is so fleeting. And so much of what we get wrapped up in, if closely examined, might make us blush. Very few on their future deathbeds will likely utter, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office!"

What is it about death that forces us to stare reality in the face? Thus, I'm so grateful for the sage and kind words of a prophet today that pleads with people to come to their senses. We are to begin at home if we want the "spirit of love to grow in the world", as quoted from President Hinckley above.

President Hinckley also shares a quote in his discourse from an early Mormon prophet, Brigham Young, as saying:

"A child loves the smiles of its mother, but hates her frowns. I tell the mothers not to allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the same time to treat them with mildness ...

"Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; ... never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you." (Ibid.)

Oh, may we hearken to these wise counsels and love well the little ones amongst us to avoid otherwise frightening consequences. (Matthew 18:6)

The Lord loves His little ones. We are to care for them as if He were present in all our doings - for one day we will find He was and is more present than we might recognize currently.

(To read the full text of President Hinckley's inspiring discourse on how to be a better parent, click here.)

I'm going to speak from my heart here for a moment. As Mormons, we believe in the eternal significance of families. In fact, that belief shapes nearly everything we do as we seek to follow Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of mankind.

Here is a great explanation about our perspective on families, quoted from the website Mormon.org:

The family is the fundamental unit of society and the primary setting in which children develop virtue. God has placed families at the center of His eternal plan for the happiness of His children.

I have to tell you, my experience being a Mormon has enriched my ability to be a better mother and a better spouse. I wasn't raised as a Mormon. So the experience has been one in extreme contrast.

But as I've become more deeply involved in my Mormon faith, the results have been profound. The Mormon.org site shares the following and I've experienced it!

Home should be a haven, free from the conflicts of the outside world - a place where everyone feels safe, respected, and accepted.

What the Mormon.org site says is true. Through the gospel of Jesus Christ and the teachings I've learned within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often called the Mormon church), I've learned so much. I've learned to be a better mother. I've learned how to serve those around me. My heart has been softened to the things of God. Jesus' teachings have enhanced my sensitivity to things of the Spirit.

I know that for some who are on the outside looking in, these might seem large claims. But I testify they are true. Within the Mormon faith as I've learned about the Savior Jesus Christ and all He has done for me, my heart celebrates as I feel the Holy Ghost (sometimes called the Holy Spirit) move within me. The Lord is blessing my life as I apply His teachings in my life, and I'm so grateful for it.

So as you look at your own family, you too can have peace within the walls of your home. It may not be easy at times, but is anything worthwhile ever truly without effort?

I promise you that as you contact the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they will teach you of greater happiness than you may have yet experienced. As you apply the teachings they will share with you, you too can experience the joy that I now know as a Mormon.

Jesus Christ is real. He loves us. And families are given so that we can know a fulness of joy. He has taught us how to achieve that. Are you ready to start? Simply go to this link and click on the "Ask a Question" button at the upper right of the screen.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (casually known as the Mormons) has blessed my life in innumerable ways. Perhaps some of those ways might be imperceptible to onlookers, but it is undeniably true.

Not only has being a Mormon helped me to better understand and rejoice in the knowledge that God knows me, that He is my Heavenly Father, and that He sent His Son Jesus Christ to redeem me; but being a Mormon has introduced me to a powerful organization called the Relief Society.

The Relief Society was founded 1842 by the prophet Joseph Smith. The motto of the organization is "Charity Never Faileth." The organization now stands at a membership of more than 5.2 million women - in over 170 countries! Can you imagine that many women working to bring charity to the world?

The purpose of Relief Society, as I've experienced it, is to bring women and their families closer to Christ. And it has been an amazing experience for me to participate in the Relief Society organization. No, the women in it are not perfect. There is only One individual who is. But the women I've met in the Relief Society organization, by and large, are women who truly desire to better their lives and those around them with the teachings and precepts of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

These women, together with their leaders, seek to aid other Mormon women, their families, and communities through quality Sunday Gospel instruction, through welfare and literacy service, and through strengthening the family.

For more information, feel free to visit this link. But just know that as an individual who has participated in the Relief Society organization, I am full of gratitude for the experience.

Although I can remember the first time I was asked to actually teach a Sunday class to the other Relief Society sisters. For some odd reason, I thought my lesson needed to be perfect! I was in awe of these women. Therefore, after sharing my lesson with them I went home and cried. Why? Because I was intimidated to be in their presence. So many of them had qualities I desired.

I eventually learned what so many of them already had learned through the years. No-one is perfect, but we are all striving to seek Christ through serving each other, through serving our families, and through serving the community as He would. I soon learned I didn't need to cry after teaching a lesson because I thought I'd "failed" in my delivery of it!

Far from it. Instead, I soon learned I could rejoice in the service I rendered. Because as I served the women in my presence, I learned probably more than any of them. This is the beauty of service. It turns us inside out and transforms us into daughters (and sons) of God.

Now when I have the opportunity to teach a Relief Society class, I thoroughly enjoy the experience. I no longer believe I have to set myself up as an example for the women throughout the lesson. No, my desire now is simply to reflect into their hearts and lives the beauty of the Savior Himself.

Yes, indeed, the Relief Society's motto "Charity Never Faileth" has become more and more a part of my life as a Mormon. That very motto leads me into becoming more like Christ than I could have initially ever imagined before joining the Mormon church!

For an excellent example of Mormon women and to learn better what Latter-day Saint women do best, feel free to visit this link.

At this link we read the following:

Church leaders have instructed members to set aside Monday night as "family home evening." This is a time for families to study the gospel together and to do other activities that strengthen the family spiritually, create family memories, and increase unity and love.

The portion that catches my eye in this quote is "create family memories." As you think back on your family in recent times, how are those "family memories" going?

Many families in the world struggle currently. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or the Mormons), we too face challenges. Our youth are growing up in a world that insists on pushing unhealthy lifestyles in the faces of younger and younger kids. What is a parent to do?

Well, as Mormons, we hold Family Home Evenings (FHE). Of course, no family is perfect. But for the families who hold FHEs consistently, over time their children fare better as they grow up. I've written about this in other blogs, but sociological studies have shown that children are less likely to do drugs and they also do better in school when the families get together for at least one group activity a week.

I find that most interesting, since Mormon church leaders have been counseling Mormon members to hold Family Home Evenings for some time - this counsel has existed for nearly one hundred years!

If you would like to try Family Home Evening yourself, I'll give you some helpful links below. But first, here are a few suggestions:

1. Know that expectations and reality rarely "jive" perfectly.
In other words, it takes time to begin a new process. Begin small. Set a goal to get together every week, ideally on a Monday night. Have the goal be a simple one: joyful interaction. You can smooth the process as you go, but if your overall goal is one of joyful interaction, you'll be more likely to achieve those happy "family memories" quoted above.

2. Know that each child needs something different ... and the same.
All of us are unique, aren't we? That is what makes life so interesting. So take just a moment to ponder on each of your children, if you have any. Bring each one to mind. What do you appreciate about each one? What worries you about each one? Why not then begin to create "FHEs" to support your children in their unique personalities? Pray over how to fashion each FHE that will serve well your family members; the Lord will guide you in this endeavor. And I know you know the most delightful thing about family relationships: each child also needs the same thing ... love! :0)

3. Know that you don't need to "recreate the wheel."
There are many ways to structure a Family Home Evening. You aren't alone in figuring out how to hold one. Here are several links to previous blogs here at LDSBlogs.com full of ideas:

• Strengthening the Family
• Your First Family Home Evening
• Weekly Family Home Evening
• Tips for a Successful Family Home Evening
• FHE Idea: Giving Thanks to Someone

Additionally, there are other resources to help you get started. This link is a great one to help you understand more fully the concept of FHE and to help you begin this successful bonding tool for your family.

When you incorporate a weekly Family Home Evening, over time you should see a bonding and a tightening amongst family members - as you approach each FHE with a "joyful" approach. The impact might not be seen immediately. But just as a seed planted in a garden will grow with proper care, your family can grow up unto the Lord by adding a weekly Family Home Evening joyful time. Make FHEs lighthearted, but spiritually focused and I think you'll see some great memories forming as you go through life!

Again, for more information, feel free to visit this link to get started!

My husband and I have a little chalkboard. It is a sweet little thing - one of those old fashioned, real-life chalkboards. Most of the world has switched over to whiteboards for message leaving or instruction, but not so my husband nor myself.

I'm not sure why dusty white chalk appeals so much to me. Could it be the way it lingers on my fingers, reminding me of early years in grade school? Could it be cleaning the eraser, something that takes me back to my small self in a classroom long, long ago? Where I stood, clapping the little fuzzy things together to create large clouds of dust (let's ignore the lung health issues for a moment)?

For whatever reason, I love little chalkboards. And the one my husband and I share has brought a strengthening tone to our marriage. I'll let you in on a little secret as to why.

The chalkboard ended up in our closet after one of our many moves. We'd transferred from a much larger home to a rental, while we were waiting to decide the next step in our lives. There was no place for that little chalkboard and I rather liked it, with its dark cherry frame and little ledge to keep chipped fragments of chalk and a petite eraser.

So there it would sit, on the side of our closet, out of the way and nearly forgotten.

That is until one day when my husband, for some sweet and unrestrained moment, left a written message for me on it. It was simply something similar to an outline of a heart with our initials inside it. The significance of the drawing did not exist in its elegance, for after all even a small person can draw a heart.

But the fact that my husband left me a "secret love note" on that little chalkboard warmed me. I stood there staring at his message, long after he'd left for the day and therefore presumably long after he'd written it. "Oh, isn't that sweet," I couldn't help but say. And then I pondered.

I pondered on the kind of man who would do such a thing ... especially on a morning in which he was rushing to get to work. And I realized it is of such things that a marriage is built. Those tiny moments where we stop to take a little piece of us and leave it for another do more to de-fragment a marriage than we might suspect (or fragment, as the case may be).

That was when I realized how significant the little things are that we do in our marriages ... for good or for ill. How often we can be wrapped up in our lives like the clothing we quickly put on each morning. Yet if I took time to create minute little moments for my husband, just as he'd took for me, how much better off our marriage would be and would grow through the years.

I'm keeping that little chalk board. It may be old-fashioned, but old-fashioned is good when it comes to steady, and true, and full of love.

You just might want to get a little closet chalkboard, too!

~~~~~
For an excellent article to read on strengthening homes and marriages, click here.

As Mormons, we believe children are a blessing. It's why Mormon families tend to be larger than average. But even Mormons struggle to raise their children with grace and to teach them gratitude, amongst other things.

Two nights ago I had the bright idea I'd take my little 6-year-old to a basketball game at the high school. It would be great fun, I thought. He was excited, or so he thought.

And so off we went. On the way he asked if we could go to eat afterwards, "As a date, Mommy!"

"Sure," I said, and snuggled completely into the warmth of the moment - even though he'd already eaten before we left.

Flash forward about an hour. I'd bought him a sack of popcorn. He plowed through that. I bought him a bottle of water. He drank through that. He then ate two cookies from the snack bar.

Now mind you, this is my youngest son who had therapy six times a week in the early years of his life, because he was a "failure to thrive" baby. He should have died from all of his complications.

In fact, for the first three years of my little guy's life, therapists taught him essential things like how to walk, to learn that he had a right arm, and also how to eat. What a remarkable thing - can you imagine a baby not knowing how to eat? But that was my son.

When his therapy ended on his third birthday due to the funding running out, the speech therapist reminded me that I was to let my son lead the way with his food choices, due to the extreme experiences he'd had initially. Thus, when he requests food we rejoice as a family, because the fact he can even eat is a miracle.

But now flash forward several years to our basketball "date." It was hard for me not to feel frustration as my little guy continued to whine and complain, and complain and whine, about his lack of a candy bar. He had began to lose sight of a simple, but important grace - gratitude.

As we left the basketball stadium, again all he could mention was not getting a candy bar. By the time we were in the car, I could think of only one thing to say: "Little guy, I'm feeling sad right now."

He stopped his diatribe and asked, "Why, Mommy?"

I took a moment to respond, then took a deep breath. "Because I think the only thing you'll ever remember from this evening is not that I took you on an outing to a basketball game, not that I bought you water to drink, not that I bought you popcorn. I don't think you'll even remember that I bought you a pack of cookies. No, I fear the only thing you'll ever remember from tonight is that I didn't buy you a candy bar."

He paused for a long while, then said, "It's ok, Mommy. By the time I'm an old man, then I'll forget you didn't buy me a candy bar."

Aren't children delightful? Yes, they can bring frustration. But they can bring so much more. As he said those very words, I felt struck with a simple thought: Do I do this to the Lord? I suddenly felt ashamed for all the times I'd held grudges or complaints in my heart about my own perceived missing "candy bars". Talk about out-of-the-mouths-of-babes!

No wonder the Lord said:

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

"Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: ..." (Psalm 127:3-5).

Yes, as Mormons, we believe children are a blessing. It's why Mormon families tend to be larger than average. I only hope that the next time I feel frustrated with my child's slow growth in Christ-like traits, that I'll remind myself I need to grow in grace, too!

Studies have shown that families who go on an outing once a week are more successful in raising balanced children.

Perhaps this is not surprising to you, but it surprised me. Honestly, our family had become so busy with so many individual activities that a family group outing had become fairly scarce, not counting Sabbath Day worship.

But the more I thought of what researchers had found, the more it made sense that a weekly family activity had such high impact. Even more surprising, the impact was highest upon teenagers. This again surprised me, because not yet having teenagers at the time, I'd assumed that no teenager wanted to be with their family - only instead with their friends.

The presenters at the conference from whom I heard these studies expressed how much depth they'd gone into regarding the research, especially in its bearing on teens.

And I thought how much this parallels what the Lord has spoken to us about families and their importance. In fact, guess what the Mormon prophets have consistently taught? A family togetherness time called Family Home Evening.

Within this weekly Family Home Evening (warmly called "FHE" by many), we set aside Monday nights to spend time as a family. The structure is determined by the parents, through prayer and introspection as to how best to bring love and closeness into the family.

Oftentimes the FHE will consist of lessons that include games that get everyone having a great time. But always FHE begins and ends with a prayer and a hymn, because these two things will bring the Lord's spirit in powerful ways.

The importance of FHE cannot be overstated nor mentioned enough. Families who take the time to spend each Monday evening together will find greater strength in relationships over time (of course, some families need to adjust this to another consistent weekly time).

The power of togetherness is tremendous. It's very similar to a garden. A farmer must plant seeds to have eventual food. Those seeds represent our children. One must then water those seeds and watch for weeds vigilantly. Otherwise, that which we've begun will fail.

"Watering" and "watching" must be done consistently for our children to grow up straight and tall before the Lord. Daily prayer and scripture study provides the weeding, but a weekly fun-fest as a family during Family Home Evening can bring much living water to strengthen our children's growth throughout their lifetime. You'll find many FHE ideas here at LDSBlogs.com under the various topics. Come back often to find fun ideas to strengthen you and your family!

What do we do when our children do not want to work around the home? Is this a problem or is it not? And what is the Lord's perspective?

As Mormons, we believe families can be together forever. This is a great thing. That is why everything we do as parents is done (or at least, should be) with balance and the Lord's perspective in mind. We are to teach our children "...by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, ... " (D&C 121:41-43).

We love our children. That is usually a given. That is why we want the best for them possible. Sometimes as parents we bend over backwards, wanting them to be happy. In some instances, though, this gentle yielding to their whimsical desires can backfire. This is when trouble sets in, tensions can begin to mount, and if we're not careful, regrettable words are spoken.

For instance, let's think on after-school hours. Most everyone is tired. The kids are tired from their long day at school (and believe me, the work thrown at kids by their teachers seems immense these days, let alone the peer pressure to fold immorally). And Mom and Dad are tired from their own pressures.

Everyone arrives home, a bit beat. And what do they face? Sometimes, no matter how careful a family is, the house can look like it has thrown up. "This is not good," we think to ourselves. And so we set into the kids. "Pick up your shoes! Put away your backpack! What were you thinking, leaving your cereal bowl out like this?!?!"

And before we know it, we've lost sight of the beauty of our children because we've become so intensely focused on the disarray of the house. Yet, a clean house invites the Spirit of God. So what is to be done?

First, I'd love to hear what you've done that is successful in your own home. For truly, there are homes that stay fairly clean and inviting, yet there also abides a loving and patient climate within that home. What is it that you've done to help your children work hard and relatively well, yet you've done it in gentle loving ways?

For truly, along with teaching our children to pray, live the Gospel, and rely upon the Lord, we also are to teach them to work. One of the Lord's representatives, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, stated that we are to teach "children to work, ... teach them that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. Help them to find pleasure in work and to feel the satisfaction that comes from a job well done" (Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Spiritually Strong Homes and Families," Ensign, May 1993, 68 - to read more of Elder Worthlin's excellent talk, click here).

If children are yelled at during chores, how can respect - or a sense of satisfaction from doing a job well - or pleasure come?

On the other hand, I know there are adults who have grasped well the gentle grace of refining their children (and themselves). So I ask again, what have you done to teach your children pleasure and satisfaction in honest labor and work - whether at home or elsewhere? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts. We are all eager to hear them.

Just what is the Lord's perspective on the family? Have you ever wondered? There sure seem to be a lot of people "in the world" who have opinions. Some say that families don't matter, others say that they do. Studies show that having stable families with both a mother and a father are the healthiest for a child to grow up in; others want to contest those studies.

But what does God say - He who created us all in the first place? For those who read the scriptures, they will notice how family oriented the Bible is, for example. If you've not thought about this, then the next time you have a quiet moment, sit down with the Bible and flip through it. Notice how many stories are centered on families and their choices, whether for good or for ill.

Adam and Eve were the first family on earth. Notice as you read their story in Genesis and in the Pearl of Great Price, how Eve and Adam labored together. Everything they did, they did together and for a joint purpose.

Abraham and his wife are another example of the profound and extensive nature of "family". The Lord supports all such families with life-giving commandments such as those found in Exodus 20:12, 14-17; 21:15-17.

As the Bible Dictionary points out, if families weren't so important why are there so very many family genealogies given in the Bible's pages?

The Lord referred to his Father. And again, as the Bible Dictionary states, "Paul and Peter gave much counsel about the duties of husbands and wives, parents and children."

The beautiful thing that I've learned by being a Mormon is that not only does the Lord care about families here on the earth, but He also cares about families throughout the eternities. The Bible Dictionary defines this for us with the last sentence under the entry, "Family":

"... through the gospel of Jesus Christ the family can be sealed together in a permanent relationship for time and all eternity (see D&C 132)."

For more information on this joyous news, feel free to click here. To read the Lord's perspective on families, you can also study the Proclamation on the Family, given through the Lord's mouthpiece, prophet and President Hinckley.

Families really can be together forever. For this I'm most grateful. We live in a world where a Pastor will perform a marriage with the words "...until death do you part." This is because that is as far as his authority will go. But within the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, the power of God is given through proper priesthood channels to seal families on earth with eternal binding power. For more information, feel free to click here.

Personally this means more to me than practically anything else in my life. Why? Because I've lost a son. Our baby boy died of SIDS. Just as so few people can know the pain of this without having experienced it, so too can few people understand the peace that came the day before he died all the way through to after the day of the funeral. The Lord spoke to me through His Holy Spirit that all was well, that my son was well, and that my family will be together through the eternities as I embrace the Lord's ways, His covenants, and His promises.

Oh, what a thing to celebrate. Families can be together forever!

As Mormons we believe the glory of God is intelligence. In D&C 93:36 we read:

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth."

As such, education is an important component for those who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The Prophet and President of our church, President Gordon B. Hinckley, has said regarding the universities the church sponsors:

"People ask why we sponsor such a large and costly institution that is basically concerned with secular education. But we shall keep these as flagships testifying to the great and earnest commitment of this Church to education, both ecclesiastical and secular, and while doing so prove to the world that excellent secular learning can be gained in an environment of religious faith" (Gordon B. Hinckley, "Why We Do Some of the Things We Do," Ensign, Nov 1999).

Several of the universities the Church sponsors are BYU, BYU-Idaho, BYU-Hawaii, and the LDS Business College. As Mormons, we are very interested in not only being educated ourselves, but also to stimulate and encourage education amongst our youth and others.

An excellent website to help youth understand the importance of a good education is BeSmart.com. This site walks a young person through the essential nature of high school preparation, how to approach ACT/SAT testing, and includes help with career exploration. There are also sections at the site regarding how to finance college, in addition to help for those who are interested in long-distance learning, called Independent Study.

One of the church's delightful programs that also aids young people in keeping a wholesome outlook in life (and striving to better themselves) is a program called "Especially for Youth." You can find out more about that great summer camp by clicking here. For example, the theme for the 2008 camps is "Steady & Sure", based off the scripture found in the Book of Mormon: "Be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works" (Mosiah 5:15).

Another indicator that Mormons value education is the Church's "Perpetual Education Fund". Its stated purpose according to the PEF website is: "This resource is for faithful young members of the Church who wish to improve their education, find a good job, and better serve their family, the Church and their community."

The PEF program began in 2001 for individuals throughout the world who desired to seek education, but could not afford it. The inspiration behind the program is beautiful and I invite you to learn more by clicking here.

Again, for Mormons education is a tremendous and essential part of our earthly existence. It is one way we express our gratitude to our Savior Jesus Christ for the gift of life He has given us. We seek to better ourselves and the world we live in as a manifestation of our love for Him and our Heavenly Father.

The family is central to the gospel of Jesus Christ. As such, the Lord has shared through His prophets how to strengthen the family and to increase joy within it. One of those ways is to hold weekly what is called "Family Home Evening."

Usually Family Home Evening (or FHE is it's often called) is held in the home, but really, it can be held anywhere. The entire point is to strengthen the bonds between family members through spiritually engaging means.

Often times my family will structure our FHEs through the following pattern. First, we will start by singing a hymn. Hymns will bring the spirit of God in amazing and profound ways. If you do not have a hymnal, here is a link to not only an online one, but you can also hear the music played for each hymn. This is a great way to learn beautiful new hymns of praise to the Savior. Each week you could pick a new hymn to learn as a family and then sing it throughout the rest of the week.

After my family has opened FHE with a hymn, then we as the parents invite a family member to pray. The person calls on Heavenly Father and gratitude is expressed for the amazing and bounteous blessings the Lord gives us. Perhaps the family is experiencing health problems, but my husband is still employed. Perhaps the children are struggling with their schooling, but they have good friends. Whatever the family and the situation, there truly are always blessings to thank God for. Additionally during this prayer, help is petitioned from the Lord. Finally we close in the name of Jesus Christ and the family joins in by saying, "Amen."

After the opening song and prayer, we then gather round to share a favorite scripture verse. Or perhaps a family member had a wonderful experience sharing the good news of the gospel with a friend during the week. Whatever the experience or spiritual thought, we try to include this as an opener to the rest of our FHE.

Then comes the really fun part (at least for the little kids). One family member has prepared during the week an activity or even a lesson to share with the rest of the family. And even though the activity might be a zany game, like Simon Says, we work to have it symbolize a spiritual thought (such as, "Just because the world says to do something, do you do it?"). After playing the game, or doing an activity, or participating in the lesson, we spend a few minutes to close FHE by discussing how those things apply to our life. We also talk about or ask how we can help each other during the coming week.

Then we close by singing another hymn and then by praying. And then of course, there are refreshments afterwards. Nothing beats sitting around with your family members in a relaxed and casual state, munching and chatting about just life in general.

Yes, indeed, Family Home Evenings can be the glue that bonds a family together. And for more ideas, feel free to visit here.

One aspect of our faith as Mormons that sets us apart from other Christian and religious groups is something called "the Word of Wisdom."

The Word of Wisdom is a portion of wisdom and revelation given to the prophet Joseph Smith February 27, 1833. It is contained within the Doctrine and Covenants (published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and can be read in its entirety here.

The power of this revelation is amazing - and even more so when you consider the time period when it was given to the prophet. Mankind in his day often chewed tobacco and drank alcohol - without scientific studies to analyze their impact.

Today scientists will tell you that chewing tobacco can cause cancer and that one ounce of alcohol destroys 10,000 brain cells. But this knowledge was not available to Joseph Smith (nor his contemporaries) in 1833.

The Lord Created Our Bodies.

The Lord knows what our bodies need. Thus, I am very interested in His thoughts on the subject. Those thoughts are contained within Doctrine and Covenants 89. These are principles that greatly bless our families today when we abide by those principles.

In fact, we're told in the revelation that these principles have been adapted to the capacity of the "weakest of all saints, who are or can be called saints" (vs 3). This excites me, because it means that even I can follow the wisdom contained in this chapter of scripture - for I consider myself weak in so many ways.

Second, we're told that the Word of Wisdom is also a form of a warning. Listen why!

" ... In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, ... by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation" (vs 4).

Then the Lord proceeds to give several important pieces of counsel. Of course, He does not declare in D&C 89 everything that is prejudicial for our bodies. After all, He is teaching correct principles and expects us to use our God-given intelligence to figure out much of what is good for us. But that which He does reveal He expects us to heed - for after all, He knows our bodies.

The Lord teaches in this revelation that strong drink or alcohol is not appropriate "for the belly." Instead He reminds us that (just as alcohol was used anciently), its purpose is for the washing of the body. For those who are medicinally inclined, they understand this statement - alcohol can be an effective tool to clean out serious wounds. But as science has shown, for every one ounce of alcohol drunk, 10,000 brain cells are destroyed! Do we seriously think the Lord would avoid warning us of this?

The Lord also teaches in D&C 89 that tobacco is not for the body nor the belly, except as used in poultices for bruising, sick cattle, etc. Again, anyone experienced in animal husbandry has seen the effectiveness of herbal poultices, including tobacco compresses. Additionally, those who have seen a smoker's lungs after his or her death could attest to the blackened "soot" that drenched the deceased person's lungs because of smoking. Again, do we seriously think a loving Lord would not warn His children of the dangers of tobacco? I'm so grateful He loves us enough to warn us and give us these pieces of wisdom.

There are many other gems of "health truths" contained within D&C 89. In the next blog, we'll continue to discuss what those are. And as parents, when we understand these principles we can better bless our entire family with them.

The fact that Joseph Smith recorded this revelation in 1833, prior to the scientific evidence which now corroborates it, is simply inspiring.

When was the last time you had an actual sit-down dinner with your whole clan? With dishes full at the table and people seated all around, facing each other?

If you're like me, this was not something that was too common. I have children with varying ages and as such, our lives had become quite hectic. Additionally, my husband has pursued an additional degree full-time in the evenings while still working full-time during the day. Oh, and did I mention he also held three different internships to boot?

Therefore, I've in the past excused a bit what had happened to our dinner hour. "Of course we're no longer having 'official' dinner time," I'd tell myself. "After all, look at our schedules!" And thus, we slipped farther and farther away from face-time during dinner time.

That, or we'd be eating on TV trays because of some project the kids had been working on, or me, that was spread out over the table. Pretty soon we found ourselves in practically what felt like "stranger land."

It was about this time that I began noticing statistics and studies which showed that teens who ate dinner at least once a week with their families were far less likely to fall prey to peer pressure to smoke or participate in drugs.

Suddenly my interest perked up with this 'concept' of dinner-time as a family. It's almost embarrassing, really. So sad that dinner time as a family could feel like such a novel prospect. Really, could dinner time together around the dinner table influence children that much? That's when I started realizing all the benefits of such a thing. And then I remembered something I'd read years ago in a sales manual - any time you eat with a client, their heart becomes more bonded to you and therefore they are more likely to respond positively to your sales pitch.

Hmmmm, I mused. Bonding ... dinner time ... this was starting to make a lot of sense. When we eat together, it is disarming. Even for kids who think they no longer need their parents, simply by eating with their parents kids will feel deeper ties.

Of course, the following goes without saying - dinner time together needs to be one of uplift and support. Just as the kids cannot imagine the difficulty of our days, it is probably unlikely we can imagine what they face today in the world. Schools are no longer what they used to be, when the largest infractions was that of running in the hall or chewing gum!

Thus, let's start this week by supporting our kids with mealtimes that demonstrate our love and support for them. And if we aren't able to arrange schedules and make this a daily event, at least once a week let's have some family face-time at dinner time!

Have you ever sat through a college course taught by a very knowledgeable instructor? I remember sitting in my science class in college during a physics lecture. I was amazed at the intellectual dexterity of my professor. You could tell he was well versed in the sciences; the knowledge came effortlessly to him. Imagine the power and ability he had to wield that knowledge in effective ways.

This is how it must be for the Lord. He created us. He knows us. He knows life. He knows cause and effect. He knows pending disaster. He knows what brings joy. Does it not make you curious to know His thoughts on how to have a joyful family?

Have you heard of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"? If you've not yet, here is a quick link so that you can read the entire document. It is just one page, but contains absolutely essential information to the potential of having a joyful and successful family.

One way to experience greater success as a family is to base your family experience off the truths contained in this great document. It was originally shared with the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on September 23, 2005; since then it has been re-published again and again, going forth to millions.

Here is a summary of some of its truths:

• Marriage is intended from God to be between a man and a woman.
• All human beings are created in God's image.
• Each person has a divine nature and destiny.
• We knew God before we came to this earth. He was our Eternal Father.
• Family relationships can continue beyond the grave.
• Parents are charged with loving and caring for their children.

There are many other landmark truths contained in the Proclamation on the Family. It would behoove every serious person to study them to understand the Lord's perspective on family relationships.

Why? Because the Lord created us. He knows us. He knows life. He knows cause and effect. He knows pending disaster. He knows what brings joy. Does it not make you curious to know His thoughts on how to have a joyful family? I know that I would desire to see all things as He sees them.

I know from personal experience the more I've sought to apply the truths contained in the Proclamation on the Family, the happier I am and the happier and more right my family feels.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in the account found in the Old Testament in Amos 3:7:

"Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets."

As latter-day saints, or Mormons as so many call us, we do believe in prophets - those who are called of God as was Aaron in ancient days (see Hebrews 5:4).

Our current prophet and President of the Church is President Gordon B. Hinckley. And part of his responsibility, other than overseeing the direction of the Lord's worldwide church, is to the earth's inhabitants as the Lord's official mouthpiece.

Thus, President Hinckley has taught many important truths. Amongst those, he has warned and continues to warn along these lines regarding the break up of the family - an institution established by God and viewed by Him as sacred.

President Hinckley has stated:

"The family is falling apart all over the world. The old ties that bound together father and mother and children are breaking everywhere ... Hearts are broken; children weep" (Ensign, Nov 1995, 102).

It is easy to see the results. Much as an egg falls from the counter to the floor, leaving cracked shells and an icky mess, so too are many families. They are falling from the counters of safety society had in place for centuries to the cold hardness of a rocky surface below.

While sociologists may argue for years why the demise is occurring so rapidly, what really matters is that we actually save the family structure the Lord has set in place, starting with our own at home.

This requires many things, but amidst those things comes a sweet spirit of peace when we do it the way the Lord set out.

What is that way? We can read of it in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," first announced September 23, 1995 at the General Relief Society Meeting broadcast worldwide. The Proclamation contains urgent and essential knowledge about how to strengthen families; here, in a brief paragraph from that Proclamation, is a good start and example:

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome activities."

Of course, it takes more than a few days of effort to apply these qualities into a family. But little by little soon becomes a lot! So why not take one quality and focus on it per each month in the coming year? It requires faith to begin (the first quality mentioned), but faith is always rewarded by the Lord.

So a good starting place is to each evening and each morning pray to your Father in Heaven. Thank Him for what you do have and then ask for a successful marriage and family. As you then seek to feel and see His influence in your life, He will begin to share with you impressions and ideas how to bring this about.

Families CAN be beautiful. I know, because I am living in one - just the other evening I heard my children singing with my husband a sweet children's Sunday song. The song had broken out spontaneously, yet filled our home with a piece of joy that remained for the rest of the evening.

Yes, indeed the Lord uses prophets to bless us. One way they bless us is by teaching what makes a family work. Begin today to try adding just a few of the qualities mentioned above - I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how well they work!

(To be able to actually read "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," simply click here.)

I remember exactly where I was September 23, 1995. My daughter was only three months old and I was standing in the lobby of our local church building, holding her while she fussed. Many women were in attendance that evening, as it was nearing General Conference weekend; we were gathered for a world-wide women's meeting - broadcast from Salt Lake City to chapels the world over.

The meeting had been full of spiritual topics and my little baby had been fairly quiet during them. But then as the evening neared an end, she became cranky. Regrettably I took her out to the lobby. I say "regrettably" because at that moment, the President and prophet of our church had just appeared on the screen and stood ready to address the women of our church worldwide.

But now that I was out in the hallway, his voice came dim and muted from the overhead speakers. I admit I had a hard time focusing - until I heard something change. The timbre of his voice deepened and I felt a sense of the importance fill the building. He began reading a document, a proclamation really.

At the time I had no idea how transcendent that moment was; I do now. Phrases such as the following flowed from the prophet's lips. And now that we flash forward twelve years to the present, they feel even more potent and prophetic than they did then.

For example:

"We ... proclaim that marriage between man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children ..."

and:

"We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

He also shared poignant statements such as:

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children."

Can you imagine if all parents understood their "solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children"? What would this world look like? To be solemn means to be deeply earnest. And nowhere is this more urgent than in the care of children. For those children who grow up secure in the love of their parents, their future becomes much brighter in contrast to those who are abused by their parents.

One of the most potent statements in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" is this one:

"Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."

Folks, those calamities aren't pretty. In fact, spend just a few weeks study in the Old Testament and the prophecies of those ancient prophets will become rather urgent in nature.

I'm so grateful for a modern-day prophet, who teaches us of righteousness, who teaches us that mothers and fathers who love each other and their children create stable societies.

To some, the statements contained in this proclamation may be astonishing. I for one am grateful for the truth contained in Amos 3:7 - that the Lord God will reveal His truths and His secrets to His prophets. May we abide by those truths.

Now as I think back to September 23, 1995, I'm in awe I was present when our prophet first read from this urgent proclamation.

To be able to read it yourself, simply click here.