Strengthening Families & Marriages

I love the scriptures. Some days they are the only things that brings me peace. I particularly enjoy the Old Testament, as odd as that sounds. Even though it is a loooong book of scripture, the stories within it are rich and instructive. Generally speaking, the first five books of the Old Testament are sometimes known as "the law" or the books of Moses. These books are Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. They address the Creation of the world all the way through Moses' instruction to the Israelites after they fled Pharaoh in ... Read More

In this world that is drenched with sexual images and commodities, what is a parent to do to strengthen their child (and even themselves) against this onslaught? It is a rampant problem, one that appears to be worsening. My husband a few years back attended a conference for mental health counselors and psychologists. The focus of the conference was helping clients overcome pornography addiction. During the lectures and workshops of the conference, my husband learned many important things to help those he counsels with sexual addiction issues. But one of the most startling facts shared at the conference was the new target market for porn companies are the 7- to 12- year-olds! Nothing beautiful, "artistic," nor entertaining about that! This fact was shocking to me. It is ... Read More

At the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, referred to as the Mormons, 178th Annual General Conference Elder Russell M. Nelson, a living Apostle of our Lord Jesus Christ, stated: This life is the time to prepare for salvation and exaltation. In God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter; exaltation is a family matter. (Russell M. Nelson, “... Read More

With all the turmoil in the world today, a parent might well ask, "Where is safety for my children? For my family? For me?" Our generation can now obtain news at any hour of the day (it used to be just the "evening news" that people would check). And most news that comes across the wire or across the internet or on TV contains bleary and dreary information. Shooters at a school. Freedoms being lost. Corrupt individuals. Wheat shortages. Wars in distant (or close) lands. And on and on. Then there are the societal trends which seem to slide ever faster down the slippery slope of sin. What used to be underwear thirty years ago (camisoles to shield women's blouses from being too sheer) is now blatantly worn as if shirts. Without going into too much detail, so much of what us... Read More

I am not the best mother. I admit. How I'd like it to be different, but try as I might, I still make mistakes. Oh, they're not huge mistakes, but they are mistakes all the same. Like wishing I'd spent more time riding the bike with my son ... every day, rather than just sometimes. Like reading stories longer each day with my little ones while small instead of just a few minutes each time. The list could go on and on. Perhaps this is why I feel the need recently to focus on my children more. I am a stay-at-home mom, so they already do get a lot of "face time" with me. But I sometimes wonder how effective some of it really is. You know the kinds of moments perhaps. Like washing the dishes as the kids come in to talk at the end of the day. My thoughts can be full of other ... Read More

Sometimes as parents we struggle with certain of our children more than the others. I'll never forget a professor I had once semester. He was the coolest guy, someone I really looked up to. So I was shocked one Monday when he came rushing in, out of breath, declaring he'd had a life changing experience over the weekend. He'd discovered a book that helped him to see one of his children in a new light. He confessed to us that out of his six children, he'd loved five ... until that past weekend. Now he loved all six. I stared at this man, surprised that 1) he could be so honest, and 2) that he hadn't loved all his children the same. That was a shocking thought to me. But then this man went on to explain what had happened. He'd discovered that the reason five of his ... Read More

I love being a mommy. It is one of the biggest blessings in my life. But it is also one of the biggest responsibilities I have. How I raise my children will influence them throughout the majority of their lives, if not for the entirety of their lives. No pressure! One of the constant refrains in my head is their spiritual welfare. To paraphrase a Book of Mormon prophet, I ponder if my children will "perish in the flesh because of unbelief" (... Read More

When somebody has hurt us or someone we love, we feel angry. Oftentimes we feel anguish. The emotions may run so deep and so hard that we wonder if we'll ever feel light-hearted again. I remember when a friend's dear husband was beaten up and left to die on the side of a barren highway. If it weren't for the miracle of someone finding him in time, my friend would have been left a widow with several young children. These kinds of incidents are hard to understand. My husband and I have lost a baby to SIDS. Then my husband lost his job soon after our baby died. I've had three miscarriages. We've had other challenges. I suppose it could be easy to exclaim to God, "Why are you doing this to us?" But in my experience, it is not that God is "doing this to us." ... Read More

Most everyone has seen an angry two year old. Whether in a store or at home, these little guys can put on quite the show when they are mad. They scrunch their eyes, they toss their head back, and pounding on the floor (or any neighboring surface) they scream and scream and scream. I feel bad for mothers in the stores during these times. I want to run up to them and help in any way possible. It's hard being a patient parent when this is the tenth tantrum of the day and you now feel like throwing one yourself! It takes some time to teach children truths, such as: "Don't touch the stove, it will burn you." "Don't run in front of that car, it will hurt you." etc. As our children get older, the troubles or dangers they face deepen in seriousness. For example you might... Read More

Raising children to make sound choices can challenge even the best of parents. For example, while a child is only two years old, parenting can seem quite simple. If the little one runs out in the street, we pull him back. If he's climbing too high a tree, we pull him down. But what about when they are older? There are many times we want to pull our kids back to safety, but as parents we also recognize that at some point they are going to be on their own. We won't be around to pull them out of "dangerous streets" or "too tall trees." What do we do? How do we best prepare them? True, we parent like crazy while we have them still with us. But sometimes that still isn't enough. We need to provide perfect modeling in as many situations as possible so they can make wise choice... Read More

How do we help our children cling to the teachings of our Heavenly Father? How do we help them stay safe in a world that seems so interested in stuffing sin in their lives? With porn companies now seeking seven to eleven year olds as their newest customers, life has suddenly taken on quite urgent tones. And in the middle of it all, contention seems to be rising - on the freeways, in the schools, at our homes. The Book of Mormon contains great truths to help parents arm their children in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon faithfully re... Read More

Successful families use The Book of Mormon to strengthen their home life. The Book of Mormon contains the priceless gospel of Jesus Christ and acts as a companion witness to the Bible as to the divinity of the Savior. Perhaps if the entire world believed Christ's witness that He indeed was the Son of God, come to save God's children, perhaps the Book of Mormon would ... Read More

As Mormons, we believe in serving missions; we believe in sharing the good news of the gospel about Jesus Christ and His redemptive offer for all God's children. I had the privilege during college to serve one of these full-time missions. It was a wonderful opportunity. And during that mission, I learned an amazing lesson of obedience. A missionary doesn't just leave home and go immediately to the assigned place of service. Missionaries first go to a Missionary Training Center for several weeks or months in preparation for their mission. Then... Read More

Not everyone is born into a "happy family." Although, some are and it is a joyous thing. Those families not only seem to function well, they actually do function well. When I asked my seminary students this week about joyous families, they described them in these terms: They're happy. They're righteous. When I asked them to define a "righteous" family, they then started becoming more precise. "A righteous family is one who starts the day praying together ... every day." Another student mentioned, "They consistently have Family Home Evening - every week." Another student said, "They read... Read More

What do we do as parents when our kids stray farther and farther away from gospel principles and safe living? What do we do if they fail to protect themselves and instead insist on striking out toward risky terrains? I was reading today in 2 Kings and the lessons there are so instructive, especially for parents who cry at night because of a child's (or children's) choices. The book of 2 Kings in the Old Testament contains a sobering history about two segments of the ancient Jews: the kingdom of Israel and the kingdom of Judah. Very few of the kings for either kingdom were righteous, neither were the inhabitants. The citizens followed their kings' choices and sought after pagan rituals, some even participating in infant and human sacrifice. The Lord (obviously) f... Read More

My birthday month should have been a happy one. But frightening news came of an assault on those least able to defend themselves: the newly born. First a little background. Back in 2005, doctors in the Netherlands openly admitted killing spina bifida babies (a neurological impairment at the spine) and other babies with defects - under the guise of bioethical decisions and protocol. Now flash forward three years. Whereas this report back in 2005 brought shock and horror from different governments around the world, now an article in a leading bioethics journal actually defends the practice! So I ask: How far are societies in the world falling - and so fast - that they only value those with perfectly-formed bodies? What some view as deformities - therefore they arg... Read More

I had heard years ago of a study that showed the following facts. I found them quite interesting. Children whose fathers read for enjoyment are 3 times more likely to read for enjoyment than other kids. Children whose mothers read for enjoyment are 2 times more likely to read for enjoyment than other kids. Children whose parents both read are 6 times more likely to read. The same stats applied for exercise. Children whose fathers exercised were 3 times more likely to exercise, and so on. An alarming set of new studies has surfaced containing urgent news. I will share those in just a moment. But first, I remember thinking years ago about the reading and exercise study how eternally significant both parents are in the life... Read More

Elder M. Russell Ballard, an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spoke two years ago on the topic, "What Matters Most is What Lasts Longest." Click on the link above to read the full talk. As I read his talk, it struck a chord. So often as we're parenting our children, we get hung up on things that don't last very long and probably aren't very important - i.e. if our son didn't scrub under his nails or our daughter doesn't wash her hair often enough. These are important activities, true. Good personal hygiene is a lovely thing! But sometimes as parents w... Read More

There is so much to do and learn in this big wide crazy, yet terrific world we live in. Amidst all those choices are some pretty scary ones. I remember as a young mother, I used to watch my toddler play at the park. Oh, I was so careful to run to his side if he scraped his knee or bonked his head. He needed me and I needed to model how to take care of bleeding injuries and how to handle emotional upsets. But what about now that he is a teenager? Now he is not always at my side. My son not only is busy with school activities, church responsibilities, and friends, but he is also preparing in many ways to "leave the nest." In a few short years he will be old enough to serve a mission and to teach other people about Jesus Christ. Will he be ready? I have found one of... Read More

I felt disheartened today when I read a news report from USAToday.com. Although I must say that I was not very surprised by the article. The article reported that religion is in flux and, in some sense, in decline. Again, not that this should be surprising. Read any of the Biblical prophecies of what life will be like during the last days; the time described is one of flux. In fact, we read in the scriptures, whether in the Old Testament, New Testament, the Book of Mormon, or the Doctrine & Covenants, that men's hearts will fail them in the last days. (Although it is important to remember, the evils and horrors of the day are not here presently because God has placed them here. They exist because the hearts of men are waxing c... Read More

Our dear President Hinckley, prophet for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon church), passed away Sunday, January 27, 2008. President Hinckley's passing was marked by many people around the world. For example, youth in certain portions of the United States went to their high schools the next day in their Sunday best - simply as a tribute to a prophet who was known for loving the young. President Hinckley's love for the youth was felt and seen... Read More

Agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves. Agency is essential in the plan of salvation. Without it, we would not be able to learn or progress or follow the Savior. With it, we are 'free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27). (Quote from "... Read More

Adversity. Yuck. What a difficult word. Right? Who wants adversity. I know that life would feel so much easier without adversity. Just imagine. Life always up. Flowers always blooming. Family always healthy. Job security always there. Friends always loyal. Christmas always here. Just kidding. I had to add the last one, "Christmas always here," for the sake of the children. In fact, I remember a children's book where that is exactly what happened. One child uttered a wish that Christmas could last all year long. Guess what happened by the end of the book? Christmas was no longer special and the child was tired of it. Can you imagine being tired from life always having presents and goodies and special trimmings present? Although I had to admit when finishi... Read More

I watched my little six-year-old play with his new garden two days ago. He'd taken great care to fill the pot with soil. After that, he placed a few rocks to rest a toy house on. Next, he created a little turquoise walkway of colorful mini-stones leading up to a tiny house. He was constructing a miniature terrarium of a sorts. Since we homeschool, I'm always on the lookout to teach science, etc., in ways that his six-year-old mind will comprehend and even enjoy. Thus, when I'd found the creative little kit to build a miniature garden, I snagged it. It was the perfect opportunity to help him understand plant cycles, etc. But as I watched him constructing his new creation, I marveled at the joy he felt for his work. Later, after he snugged seeds down inside the soil, and w... Read More

In this world where so many activities happen on Sunday, what is a person to do? How are parents to raise children appropriately up unto the Lord? One of the best ways to strengthen a child is to help them understand the wisdom behind the Lord's commandments. While there are so many in the world who seem to seek destruction of all that's good, I want my children to understand the Lord seeks only their good. I once heard it said by John Bytheway, a popular Mormon speaker, that most youth will obey God's laws when they understand the "why" behind those laws. In other words, when a person grasps the principle behind the "command" (the reason for it), obedience tends to quickly return. For after all, there is joy in Godly living - I've felt it myself. Of course, chi... Read More

I've been thinking a lot recently about my personal life and my standing in God's eyes. I'm not sure why. It's not that I have some awful disease, with pending death in the picture. It's just that this has been a refrain in my mind. If the day I had to appear before my Maker were tomorrow, though, would I be ready? And what if it were NOT tomorrow? Does that give me allowance to "slide" in expectations ... until the urgent time did arrive? The latter thought troubles me. Very much so. Why would I wait to better my life, wait to purify it until some nebulous future? I cannot tolerate that thought for some reason. No, I want to please my ... Read More